SO much myself.

Some brief thoughts on our progress as humans on the planet

2009-05-19T17:06:00.004-04:00

Not really a light topic, huh? Nope, but really weighing heavily on me. Sometimes, if I just write it, I release it to the Creator, and come to peace about whatever it is that weighs me down.

Today, I am putting my vote in for generosity and patience. Not that I'm fantastic at either; I'm just voting for both. Truly, truly, not fantastic at either, but decent at both. I decided a long time ago that I am generous, so, in every situation, in every day, when I come to a choice-point, I choose generous, as it reflects who I am. Naturally, being human, I sometimes rush through choices unconsciously and pick the small, greedy thing.

And, God knows, I'm not praying for patience, 'cause you get the lessons that teach patience. Arghhhh! Same thing here: I decided a while ago that I am patient (a natural outcome of generosity, as I take it to mean generous with time.) Same thing here, too -- I forget. I rush. I slay myself unconscious. I ignore the tug of the Spirit and whip through choice-points like an impatient, selfish jackass.

But, I find that these are things that demonstrate the John 13:15 thing. (By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.) And, believing that Jesus is both God and a way-shower, I choose this.

I say all that to say this:

When someone isn't loving toward me, when someone or something is against me, and there is no generosity coming from the other party, why am I so angry and so demanding that I be loved and afforded generosity right now?

I ask, "Stacey, how long did you hate yourself before you afforded love and generosity to yourself? How many years did you judge yourself unworthy, inferior, unlovable, and hopelessly sinful before the dawn? And who are you to demand that everyone figure out we're all lovable and all loved this instant?"

My job is to love, afford generosity, and extend patience. Not to demand that everyone "get it" this instant.

More Quotes

2009-05-18T14:29:00.002-04:00

"Feelings aren't necessarily an indication of victory."

"The ugliness of others does not require us to follow suit."

"You're on the g**d*** Batphone, aren't you?"

Answer, rinse, repeat.

2009-05-08T21:47:00.003-04:00

It's a meme that I'm doing 'cause the Numb3rs did it...

WRITE EXACTLY WHAT'S ON YOUR MIND.

1. Your ex and You = are fine.

2. I am listening to = Oprah interview Elisabeth Edwards.

3. Maybe I should = get my poop in a group.

4. I love = my people.

5. My best friend(s) = phenomenal and indispensable!

6. I don't understand = so, so many things.

7. I have lost my respect for = him

8. I last ate = chicken tikka masala

9. The meaning of my display name is = what my cute niece named me

10. God = IS.

11. Someday = we'll be together (just song lyrics, nothing more).

12. I will always be = A KICK ASS WOMAN.

13. Love seems = lovely

14. I never ever want to lose = my friends

15. My LiveJournal is = only there so i can comment on other livejournal pages

17. I get annoyed = not NEARLY as often as I used to.

18. Parties = WHEE party!

20. Simple kisses = are nice.

21. Today I = helped people get a large amount of work done.

22. I wish = I had known then what I know now.
-----------------------------------------------------------

NOW

01. is your hair wet? nope

02. is your cell phone right by you? yes

03. do you miss someone? Really, really yes

04. are you wearing chapstick? no

05. are you tired? no

06. are you wearing pajamas? pj pants and a tee

08. are you mad? YES, on Lo's behalf.

09. are you upset? YES AGAIN, on Lo's behalf.

------------------------------------------------------------

HAVE YOU

01. recently done anything you regret? recently, no.

02. ever lied? yes

03. ever put gum underneath a desk? no

04. ever kicked someone? yes

05. ever tripped over your own feet? yes. up stairs.

TODAY HAVE YOU:

01. have you cursed? yeah.

02. have you gotten mad at someone? yep.

-RANDOM-

Q: is there a person who is on your mind right NOW? yes

Q: do you have any siblings? yes

Q: do you want children? no

Q: do you smile often? YES

Q: do you untie your shoes every time you take them off? um, no.

Q: do you like your handwriting? Yes

Q: are your toenails painted? they are hotttt, red.

Q: are you a friendly person? yes.

Q: whose bed other than yours do you sleep in? Allie's, Beth's guest room, etc.

Q: what color shirt are you wearing? white with "Campy Vampy Canoe Queen Weekend 2002" on it.

Q: what were you doing at 7pm yesterday? eating dinner, i think.

Q: I can't wait until: I see the Numb3rs/Beth&family/Family

LAST TIME YOU ______

last time you prank called someone? Hell, do not remember.

last time you skipped school/class? undergrad

last time you called your best friend? Last night.

last time you tried to tell someone how you feel? Not sure.

last time you had someone call? couple of hours ago

last time you twisted your ankle? A few years.

last time you drove? Couple hours ago.

last time you cried? Couple weeks, maybe?

last time you pushed someone? can't remember

last time you laughed? Maybe an hour ago.

last time you rented a dvd? couple weeks ago.

last time you worked? Today.

Comments Comments Comments

2009-05-08T17:00:00.002-04:00

I have lots of regular haunts in the Internets. I tend to love the content; however, there is a problem with my favorite sites: the comments people leave after the article/video/picture. Here are a few of the sites where I simply canNOT read any of the comments. Oh, sure, I am actually physically *able* do it, but doing it makes my head explode.

http://stuffwhitepeoplelike.com/

Brilliantly funny and nearly 100% true, even.
Worst.commenters.ever. These people are quite below average in cleverness, couth, and, in addition, are mean to one another.

http://www.salon.com/

Fantastic magazine! Lots of interesting literary and social news and (mostly) commentary.
Commenters are mostly laboring under the illusion that they're morally supeirior to everyone else.
These commenters are the ones who taught me an important lesson: those on the Outer Left have their heads as far up their asses as those on the Far Right.

http://www.indystar.com/

Excellent newspaper of my veryown hometown.
These commenters are frequently cartoons of themselves.
Many, many, many nasty judgemental comments from people calling themselves Bible-Believing Christians. (That's what actually made me stop reading the comments at indystar.)

http://www.youtube.com/

Is there more legal fun available in the wee hours of the morning when I should be sober and asleep? No. No, there isn't.
These commenters, and I mean the ones whose native language is English, have no earthly idea how to behave in public. Who is this stupid in a public forum? Youtube commenters!

http://www.craigslist.org/

Wow, this is a helpful site. If you haven't sold a car, found a rental, or bought a refrigerator from Craigslist, you're missing out.
All I can say about this: "rant and rave" under "personals" is a sign of the end times. Srsly.

Quotable

2009-05-06T15:47:00.001-04:00

Here are some recent quotes that I’ve collected. Hope you enjoy them, too!

About family dinners: “It’s Easter. We’re serving ham and angst.”

About doing something kinda stupid: “You’ll have to excuse me. I’m one-quarter moron, on my mother’s side.”

About no-necked dudes: “If his own neck deserts him, we have a problem.”

Regarding dudes named Steve: “Steve’s are dicey. They can go either way.”

Regarding places that straight men like to be: “… and occasionally, that warm, soft place may have to be Florida.”

Hey, look! I never got back in the habit.

2009-01-24T18:47:00.002-05:00

However, I'm still planning to do that. To tide you over, here's a note I posted on facebook. I'm posting it here, in case you haven't seen it. Stay tuned for a post tomorrow -- it's about halfway done right now.

Until then:

I believe people calling themselves followers of Christ might want to rally around the central principal of the religion. Love is all there is that matters. Being right doesn't matter if you have no love. More's the tragedy, we actually ARE love, and we cast it out of ourselves. "If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing." I'm not simply sad, or tired, or unloved, or empty. I'm nothing.

I believe in graciousness: individual, and collective. I'm inexplicably thankful for the people who extend graciousness to me each day. When I do something that causes major inconvenience at work, usually, someone understands that we're all human and we work out the problem. I believe that the day the new president takes office is not a good day to make snide comments about his character or his potential ability to execute. It seems like a good day to be thankful. Or to make moving arrangements: France will probably take you.*

I believe I'm both fantastically, amazingly together and an utter damn mess. As an angel of a friend once said, "I'm perfect, flawed, and contradictory." I've handled some stuff. I've done some good stuff. I am a judgement machine most of the time. I know some stuff. I don't know way, way more stuff. I am, however, open.

To get back in the habit

2008-11-26T19:11:00.002-05:00

...of blogging! I thought I'd do this lovely meme. Wanna hear it? Here it go:

1. WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE?

Not that I'm aware of.

2. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED?

November 4th.

3. Do you like your handwriting

Yep.

4 . WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE LUNCH MEAT?

Sopresetta

5. DO YOU HAVE KIDS?

Nope. Just dogs.

6. IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON, WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU?

Oh my damn, yes!

7. DO YOU USE SARCASM A LOT?

Is the bear a Catholic?

8. DO YOU STILL HAVE YOUR TONSILS?

Yep.

9. WOULD YOU BUNGEE JUMP?

Um, no. I really doubt it.

10. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE CEREAL?

Frosted Flakes with half and half. But I don’t eat it anymore, either. 'Cause, hi, I don't need any MORE calories, esp. first thing in the morning!

11. DO YOU UNTIE YOUR SHOES WHEN YOU TAKE THEM OFF?

Not usually.

12. DO YOU THINK YOU ARE STRONG?

Yes, I do.

13. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE ICE CREAM?

Very good vanilla or coffee.

14. WHAT’S THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE?

If they'll look at me in the eye.

15. RED OR PINK?

Red.

16. WHAT IS THE LEAST FAVORITE THING ABOUT YOURSELF?

That I keep refusing to exercise discipline.

17. WHO DO YOU MISS THE MOST

My fam, my numb3rs, my vbf.

18. DO YOU WANT EVERYONE TO SEND THIS BACK TO YOU?

Nah. I'm flexible.

19. WHAT COLOR PANTS AND SHOES ARE YOU WEARING?

Jeans, none.

20. WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU ATE?

A taste of yeast roll.

21. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW

Toddykins telling me stories of his day.

22. IF YOU WERE A CRAYON, WHAT COLOR WOULD YOU BE?

Silver.

23. FAVORITE SMELLS?

Clean sheets and clean man!

24. WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE?

Toddykins.

25. DO YOU LIKE THE PERSON WHO SENT THIS?

Lurve.

26. FAVORITE SPORTS TO WATCH?

College basketball.

27. HAIR COLOR ?

Brown, blond, etc.

28. EYE COLOR?

Brown.

29. Do you wear contacts

Yes.

30. FAVORITE FOODS?

Carbohydrates?

31. SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDINGS?

Happy endings.

32. LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED?

Smiley Face (Please, please, do not waste your time.)

33. WHAT COLOR SHIRT ARE YOU WEARING?

Black. But just until there's something darker.

34. SUMMER OR WINTER?

Summer all the way!!!!

35. HUGS OR KISSES?

Yes, definitely!

36. FAVORITE DESSERT?

Shagbark hickory magic cookie from The Goose.

37. MOST LIKELY TO RESPOND?

Not sure.

38. LEAST LIKELY TO RESPOND

Also not sure.

39. What book are you reading now?

Twilight

40. WHAT IS ON YOUR MOUSE PAD?

Nothing.

41. WHAT DID YOU WATCH ON T.V.. LAST NIGHT?

Fringe

42. FAVORITE SOUND?

Hysterical laughter, especially groups of people -- especially the Numb3rs or my niece and nephews.

43. ROLLING STONES OR BEATLES?

Depends on the day.

44. What is the farthest you have been from home?

Portugal... but I was sort of "home" then, too.

45. Any new news in your life?

I'm going to go be a minister. Like, for a living.

46. WHERE WERE YOU BORN?

Patuxent River, Maryland

47. WHOSE ANSWERS ARE YOU LOOKING FORWARD TO GETTING BACK?

Anyone who answers!

48. WHAT TIME IS IT NOW?

7:26 p.m.

Democracy at Work

2008-10-30T15:03:00.005-04:00

Largest pre-voting-day turnout in Marion County (Indianapolis) Indiana, as pictorially evidenced by my lovemonkey and chef, Todd:

Laughed out loud, I did.

2008-09-08T16:03:00.001-04:00

Who is Joan Baez?

2008-09-05T17:29:00.002-04:00

more music charts

Just a few more words on the political front

2008-09-04T20:21:00.003-04:00

So, when you talk with someone about your point of view, what sort of tact do you (does one) take? Well, if you're intent on having them see your point of view, possibly even adopt your point of view, you would first demonstrate on what points the two of you agree. You'd build rapport, lay some groundwork. If you're really smart, and you truly care about the person to whom you're speaking, you'll maintain respect throughout the entire discourse. And, if you happen to be talking to me personally, you will not show up with hate. You won't show up to the party with a nice, heaping, steaming pile of bitter. Or better, either.

I fail to understand how anyone expects ANYONE to "come over to their side" by belittling, declaring another's point of view stupid/greedy/self-serving, or presuming that you're are better than someone else because you're more, oh, I don't know, enlightened. . . evolved. . . superior?

I'm very lucky to have had almost all of my political discussions of late start and continue with respect and love. Some of them have not. Personal attacks on human beings that WE DON'T EVEN KNOW are fantastically ridiculous. Breathing fire about some woman from Alaska makes as much sense as hating the guy behind the counter at Subway. I'm not stupid, I get that her choices may turn out to have much more impact than do his; however, they're equally human. And equally fallible.

To be clear, I'm not trying to take the enlightened/evolved/superior path. (Hee!) I'm just pointing out that discussing choices, leadership styles, decisions, and philosophies creates an entirely different thing than tearing at the fiber of a person. Tearing people down, even those you believe to be against you personally, does not create anything worth having.

Just some thoughts on how we might move forward talking about politics. Or, you know, whatever.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
P.S., If you're reading this, I didn't write this in reaction to anything we've discussed.

One More Taboo Topic: Politics

2008-09-02T11:31:00.004-04:00

I'm not a Senator McCain hater in any way. Truly. I don't think he's Satan or Satan's Puppet (those are the ones I've heard that make me laugh,) or anything less inflammatory, either. But I do have one very important question, and it goes like this: WHAT THE F*&%?!

Whether Sarah Palin is qualified for a national office -- particularly this one -- is not what is most disturbing to me. What's disturbing (for the sake of this particular blog entry) is how it appears. The selection of a little-known, inexperienced, female person comes off like this to your random woman voter:

"You didn't get Hillary, so here's another vagina for you."

To be clear, I'm NOT saying anything about Ms. Palin with this statement -- she could, indeed, make a good VP -- I'm saying it about the people who selected her for the candidacy. If the GOP felt they truly needed a female candidate for the ticket, how about Sen. Elizabeth Dole? She's an educated, nationally-eperienced, charismatic woman. How about Kay Bailey Hutchison, the senior female senator? How about anyone, regardless of anatomy, with leadership experience and qualities that makes her or him an acceptable choice for president, should anything happen to McCain?

This entire frame of selection pisses me directly off. I remember feeling exactly the same way about President Clinton's selection of Janet Reno. Both of the president's previous nominees, Zoe Baird and Kimba Wood, had confirmation problems; by the time he selected Reno, it appeared that he was searching for a woman to do the job much more urgently than he was searching for the most-qualified person to do the job. Yes, of course there's always the chance that the three most qualified candidates were all female, but I doubt it.

It's this sort of gymnastics (among other things, naturally) that makes me wonder how we'll rise above the game of politics and move forward, and upward with concern and love for people living in this country.

Yes, I'm idealistic. Yes, I had a visceral reaction. I offer no apologies for either.

Religion. Just what you're not supposed to talk about.

2008-08-26T13:21:00.002-04:00

My dadness posted this on his blog a couple of weeks ago, and it has been much on my mind since. Here's what he posted:

"Although the US is one of the most religious nations in the world, a survey by the Pew Forum on Religion and Public Life shows many believe things which contradict their stated faith. 70% of those who claim religious affiliation believe multiple religions can lead to salvation and 68% believe in multiple interpretations of their own religion. 57% of self-identified evangelicals believe multiple religions can lead to salvation. 21% of self-identified atheists believe that some kind of God exists. 80% of respondents believe in moral standards of right and wrong, but only 29% claim their religious teachings help them determine those standards. A copy of the report can be read at www.pewforum.com (SFGate.com June 23, 2008)"

I found the study very interesting, mostly because I'm positively crazy about sociology and about belief in and wrestling with the divine. I'd like to know your thoughts about this study, if you're interested in discussing them.

My dad's comments, found here (click me) were principally about the aspect of human nature dictating that moral determinations are personal, and what we do and do not know about our religions' teachings. For example, our culture says it’s OK to adhere to the tenets we agree with and ignore others.

My opinion is that yes, culture shapes religion. I would suggest that making a religion constant is not possible; indeed, is not even all bad. Religion isn’t a way to “have eternal life” as mentioned in the study. If one adheres to the Christian scripture, it’s obvious that religion isn’t a path to God, the person of Christ is that path. I believe that religion is NOT equal to God, it’s just a way to practise knowing God while we’re in this form. Another thing to think about: is it possible that people are discovering the Divine — real, personal, tangible discovery of the living God — in ways that don’t line up at all with their religions? and… wouldn’t that be GREAT!!!!????

Interested in your thoughts.

Much love,
Stacey

Also, what the hell?

2008-08-18T17:17:00.004-04:00

OK, so I love the Go Fug Yourself girls. I found this picture on their site, along with comments that are far more clever than these. However, I HAD to post this one, along with the very important question: what the hell? Paula, 1986 called... blah blah blah, you know the rest.

Giggles from the kittehs

2008-08-18T17:09:00.001-04:00

more cat pictures

Laughed out loud. No, really.

2008-07-25T17:47:00.002-04:00

more cat pictures

"Jerkface" is what sent me over the edge!

After completing 21 days of very, very healthy eating (vegan-style)...

2008-07-25T13:59:00.003-04:00

...I have discovered the following:

The dairy I miss the most is cheese.
I don’t miss microwave popcorn nearly as much as I thought I would.
I really love the tastes of sunflower seeds, pistachios, cashews, and natural peanut butter.
When I wait until I’m really hungry to eat, pretty much every healthy thing tastes good.
Feeing myself good food with actual nutrients is powerful. It feels like caring for myownself.
It’s actually possible to ask myself to do something new in the food department, and then do it.
It’s easier than I thought it would be.
I like beans on my salad.
I love guacamole more than ever.
I love living with a kick-ASS chef!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Edited to add some quotes directly from my body. It's been saying odd things.

"We haven't seen this many vegetables and fruits since your mother was in charge of feeing us."

"That's a LOT of fiber for one day!"

"What the HELL are you doing? Are these nutrients?"

Apparently, I have a blog.

2008-07-23T16:11:00.002-04:00

Not that I've noticed, lately. So, I'm popping in to share something funny with you (you know, if you're even still checking whether I'm updating!) And, then, later? I'll blog. I have some things on my mind.

Until then, here you are:

Three women, one engaged, one married and one a mistress, are chatting about their relationships and decided to amaze their men. That night all three will wear black leather bras, stiletto heels and a mask over their eyes.

After a few days they meet again for lunch.

The engaged woman says, "The other night when my boyfriend came over he found me with a black leather bodice, tall stilettos and a mask. He saw me and said, 'You are the woman of my life. I love you.' Then we made love all night long."

The mistress says, "Me too! The other night I met my lover at his office and I was wearing the leather bodice, heels, mask over my eyes and a raincoat. When I opened the raincoat he didn't say a word, but we had wild sex all night."

The married woman says, "I sent the kids to stay at my mother's house for the night. When my husband came home I was wearing the leather bodice, black stockings, stilettos and a mask over my eyes. As soon as he came in the door and saw me he said, 'What's for dinner, Batman?' "

Anyone wanna guess why I'm not married? HEE!

Happy Birthday, Lo!

2008-07-02T15:20:00.003-04:00

May it be the lovliest one yet. With a zillion more to come!

For That Todd

2008-06-17T18:44:00.001-04:00

Mostly just for the Numb3rs (and Jenny)

2008-06-16T12:45:00.010-04:00

'Cause I know how much y'all like looking at my brother. HEE!

The Fig and The Father are in Torrey Pines, California volunteering at the U.S. Open last week and today. I have a couple of pictures so you can see how happy golf and sun make my male family members. (OMG, my brother is getting so skinny! Bastard.)

You can see a whole bunch more updates on The Father's site --http://www.majormike.net/ -- if you like! They get home early tomorrow morning, and there will be lots more pictures, then. If you're as into golf as they are, you'll love those. I think they saw everyone who's anyone in that world!

Yay for David and Dadness.

And here is the Dadness: (I don't know what happned to him when I posted this originally.)

Wellcommz to mah whirled

2008-06-06T16:23:00.000-04:00

more cat pictures

BWAHAHAHAH!!!

What Beth said...

2008-06-06T14:37:00.006-04:00

Go look at her blog entry today by clicking HERE. So, first, if you're 13 or you've ever been 13, you know that your parents' JOB is to make you feel embarrassed. Additionally, it was your (and my) job to be inconsolable, dramatic, and fatalistic, thereby annoying your parents 24/7 for approximately seven consecutive years.

Surely Stanley Burt Eisen doesn't think he's any different, as Beth said. Especially when he looks like this (scroll down).

Wait for it...

GAH!!! I'm scared.

Just remembered!

2008-06-04T11:59:00.003-04:00

Another one of those things that got caught in my thoughts? EVA LONGORIA. Maybe my head just likes women with three-letter first names. Also, this site cracks me the hell up! If you've never been to Fug, go now. You will not be sorry.

Happy Wednesday!

Happy Birthday, Allie!

2008-06-02T10:33:00.003-04:00

Fried chicken, country ham, it's your birthday, HOT DAMN!

Parce que je suis une donateur

2008-05-28T15:16:00.002-04:00

Excessive Rumination

2008-05-27T16:34:00.005-04:00

As it turns out, "excessive rumination" is a symptom of major depressive disorder (MDD). Other symptoms are uncontrollable crying, nausea/vomiting, anxiousness, inappropriate guilt, and other symptoms that masquerade in the mind of the depressed person as character weaknesses. So, not only does one feel like crap if one has MDD, but one also thinks "I know I should be able get over this," while trying very, very hard to get out of bed without crying or throwing up. Good times. Good times.

I have had three major episodes and probably five minor episodes of MDD over the last 15 years. In my case, it's pretty well controlled by talk therapy and medication.

My point, and I do have one, is that there are some funny-ass things about this disorder. Which brings me to excessive rumination. This symptom isn't very cute while you're going through it, but afterward, it's hilarious. You know how you can get a song stuck in your head, and it doesn't go away for HOURS, or maybe DAYS??? That's an example of excessive rumination.

The following is a list of thoughts that I've had, while feeling like serious crap, that just kept running and running running and running running and running through my tired lil' haid. Thank God this doesn't happen often! (My notes in italics.)

Pia Zadora -wtf?
7:48 -A time of day. Are you kidding?
Who got the love, who got the fresh-e-freshy? Who got the only sweetest thing in the world? -This was SHEER horror at the time. Damn Everlast.
Pregnancy test -Though, at the time, I had never had sex.
Bop bop bop -What am I, Barney?
Tuna fisheries -Tuna. Fisheries.
Wee willie wonka -Who wouldn't think of this repeatedly?
Burt Bacharach -Hee!
Taxpayer's remorse -We all have it; why not ruminate about it?

Please enjoy these ridiculous things with me now that I feel fantastic and am not being repeatedly tormented by Pia Zadora. The bitch.

A month ago

2008-05-19T12:53:00.003-04:00

Good. damn. day.

Pony! Poni! Pone!

2008-05-19T12:38:00.005-04:00

The other half of what white people like.

2008-05-12T17:38:00.006-04:00

#51 Living by the Water
Truly a lovely dream, here in landlocked Indiana. I probably wouldn't give a rat's ass, but I used to live ON THE BEACH. Like, 50 yards from the Pacific.

#52 Sarah Silverman
Mostly, no. Sometimes v-e-r-y funny, but really not my swirl.

#53 Dogs
Don't even get me started. I'm in-sane over dogs. Don't even know why, exactly, I'd just love to have a huge yard somewhere temperate and 12 dogs.

#54 Kitchen Gadgets
Nah. Those are for the man in our house.

#55 Apologies
When they're warranted, absolutely.

#56 Lawyers
Not overly intrigued by them; however, do find myself wondering if I could make it in law school. Actually, I know I could make it in law school. And, yes, I'm full of myself.

#57 Juno
Huh? Ohhhhhh, Juno the movie. I was thinking maybe the internet service there for a minute. Yes, loved it, but not because it's some Indie thing. I loved it because the writing was great, even though it's unrealistic. It's a STORY, they're supposed to hold you in a state of belief, regardless of reality.

#58 Japan
Sounds lovely; never been. Not at the top of my list. Italy, on the other hand...

#59 Natural Medicine
Gimme the chemicals, baby. I believe in Better Living through Pharmacology.

#60 Toyota Prius
Isn't that what my Left Coast granddad drives? (Yes.)

#61 Bicycles
Cars!

#62 Knowing What’s Best for Poor People
This one makes me sad.

#63 Expensive Sandwiches
GUILTY! My favorite is from Goose The Market right on the corner in our neighborhood!

#64 Recycling
So far, I only recycle paper. I'm a bad left-leaner.

#65 Co-Ed Sports
Once again, have you met me? My idea of sports is watching hot guys play ball.

#66 Divorce
Oh, yes.

#67 Standing Still at Concerts
I'm decidedly non-white on this one.

#68 Michel Gondry
No.idea.

#69 Mos Def
Only know who it is. Sad, sad pop-culture-less girl.

#70 Difficult Breakups
Two divorces? Check.

#71 Being the only white person around
When I was one of a couple white-ish people in my college choir, it was a total kick to be in and around people of a culture I wasn't born in. I would not say I seek this out, however. Oooooh, unless you also count the trips to South and Central America, where I guess I was in the minority, too. Cultures other than mine are interesting. Looks like I'm a white girl on this one.

#72 Study Abroad
Would have LOVED to!

#73 Gentrification
Hmmmm, according to the essay regarding this entry, I qualify in that I live in a neighborhood which is considered "up-and-coming." Where I live used to be a crack house. However, the building started a long time before we moved in (we rent), and now the taxes are at a level (very high) where the people who bought the properties from the people who owned the crack houses are actually moving out of the neighborhood. Kinda crazy. And I just thought it was cool to live close to work.

#74 Oscar Parties
Nah.

#75 Threatening to Move to Canada
No.fricking.way. No offense to Canada or its citizenry, I just love being an American.

#76 Bottles of Water
I do drink them, but the faucet is free. And what a total first-world miracle that I can drink right out of the faucet and stay healthy! And, while I'm on that, the very fact that there is a faucet is pretty damned miraculous.

#77 Musical Comedy
Occasionally. VERY occasionally. Though, I admit a certain fondness for Adam Sandler's SNL bits with the guitar.

#78 Multilingual Children
Someone else's multilingual children, maybe.

#79 Modern Furniture
Comfortable furniture is better.

#80 The Idea of Soccer
HA! That's just funny.

#81 Graduate School
Definitely. Been dreaming of it since I came to Corporate America.

#82 Hating Corporations
Been doing it since I came to Corporate America. My participation in them, actually. Corporations on the whole don't cause me to hate.

#83 Bad Memories of High School
There are about 8.3 million good memories, too.

#84 T-Shirts
T-shirt whore, right here, people. But not the wearing of them, the CREATION of the slogan on them!

#85 The Wire
I know nothing of this show.

#86 Shorts
Hi, no shorts. Ever. Bermudas maybe, but I'm a fat woman over the age of 35, we don't need to flaunt that, really.

#87 Outdoor Performance Clothes
This would require me to have a life involving Outdoor Performance.

#88 Having Gay Friends
Why pick friends based on one characteristic? If you're smart and funny, I probably can't resist you. If you're also real honest about yourself, I definitely can't resist you.

#89 St. Patrick’s Day
Isn't St. P's day for amateurs?

#90 Dinner Parties
Guilty! Always a good opportunity to show off my awesome chef boyfriend, too!

#91 San Francisco
Ehn.

#92 Book Deals
OMG, I WOULD LOVE ONE! GIMME?

#93 Music Piracy
Nah. Unless Lola does it.

#94 Free Healthcare
Ah, hell, I still don't know what I think about this one.

#95 Rugby
Nope.

#96 New Balance Shoes
Own 2 pair.

#97 Scarves
ONLY when it's freaking freezing outside.

#98 The Ivy League
Sure, I still long for Harvard. It was a girlhood dream.

#99 Grammar
Guilty as sin. Guilty as sin. Guilty as sin. Guilty as sin. Guilty as sin. Guilty as sin. Guilty as sin. Guilty as sin. Guilty as sin. Guilty as sin. Guilty as sin. Guilty as sin. Guilty as sin. Guilty as sin. Guilty as sin. Guilty as sin. Guilty as sin. Guilty as sin. Guilty as sin. Guilty as sin. Guilty as sin. Guilty as sin. Guilty as sin. Guilty as sin. Guilty as sin. Guilty as sin. Guilty as sin. Guilty as sin. Guilty as sin. Guilty as sin. Guilty as sin. Guilty as sin. Guilty as sin. Guilty as sin. Guilty as sin. Guilty as sin. Guilty as sin. Guilty as sin. Guilty as sin. Guilty as sin. Guilty as sin. But legal to be so, since I have a degree from Purdue in English, and I work as an editor. Hee!

Stuff White People Like

2008-05-12T17:38:00.003-04:00

Not only does this site crack me directly up, it's something that works for many of my favorite women, too. It's "Stuff White People Like." Click here for the the full list of stuff white people like on one page. Today's entry, Grammar, is what propelled me to examine how many of the now 99 items I actually like, as I am (mostly) a white chick.

Here is the list of the first 99 things, and my comments about my personal affinity for each of these items, thus revealing my whiteness or lack thereof, as the case may be, nudge nudge wink wink, say no more. (I bet white people TOTALLY like Monty Python.)

#1 Coffee
I definitely love the coffee. And the CoffeeGoddess. What's not to love. Did I ever tell you how I started loving coffee? It was Mark Bourdeaux. He was my English TA at Purdue, and I adored him. He sat in the student union for his office hours and drank a lot of coffee. Also, he had a schload of earrings and long hair. And wore painters' pants with a squirrel hide stitched to the ass. Need I say more?

#2 Religions their parents don’t belong to
True. I don't belong to one, but I do like them.

#3 Film Festivals
Not so much. First, I refer to them as "movies" not films. And I'm certainly never going to the Cinema. Hi, I'm not European.

#4 Assists
Nah. I'm ruggedly individualistic. (hee!)

#5 Farmer’s Markets
Well, they're OK, but the boyfriend is a whore for the things.

#6 Organic Food
Nope. Gimme fried dough and sugar, please.

#7 Diversity
Yeah, I do love it. I always think of it as "variety" though. It's the spice o' life, dontchaknow. A very smart person I know said that "Diversity training" exists so that we can have an emotionally mature response to people who are different than we are, which is a pretty good idea. Also, growing up as a traveling Navy brat, my brother and I both tend to gravitate to anyone who doesn't look, sound, or seem "like" us.

#8 Barack Obama
Better than the alternative.

#9 Making you feel bad about not going outside
Not this white girl. I will SO lay my ass on the couch on a lovely day.

#10 Wes Anderson Movies
I had to look this name up. Darjeeling Ltd is the only one I've seen. And it didn't change my life.

#11 Asian Girls
This one's for every man I've ever dated or been married to. Yes, they've all been white.

#12 Non-Profit Organizations
Sure! Why not?

#13 Tea
Ehn.

#14 Having Black Friends
I would no sooner select my friends based on their skin color than I would their marital status. Though, being black is "different" from me, so maybe this falls under the diversity/variety umbrella.

#15 Yoga
Haven't tried it.

#16 Gifted Children
Have none. Was one.

#17 Hating their Parents
Puh-leeze. Oh sure, I am still silently rebelling against my mother at the tender age of 38, but I adore her.

#18 Awareness
This entry of stuffwhitepeoplelike.com is just hilarious. Please read.

#19 Traveling
I had no idea this was a white thing! I just thought I liked to go places.

#20 Being an expert on YOUR culture
I'm barely an expert on my own culture. OK, I'm not blind to US historical culture, but absolutely to pop culture. Just a couple weeks ago I was telling Allie what a total square I am (to effectively demonstrate my total obliviousness of current parlance). She said, "You can probably quote Chaucer, though." Because she's a giver like that. (And yes, I can. In Middle English. ARGH!)

#21 Writers Workshops
I'd like to conduct one, but not attend one.

#22 Having Two Last Names
Previously guilty.

#23 Microbreweries
Yum.

#24 Wine
YUM.

#25 David Sedaris
Painfully funny.

#26 Manhattan (now Brooklyn too!)
Don't know yet. But, I have thought of a year-long NYC living experiment, just for the experience.

#27 Marathons
HAVE YOU MET ME?

#28 Not having a TV
Done it. Considering doing it again!

#29 80s Night
Hi, I was in high school in the 80s. Why do I want to relive that?

#30 Wrigley Field
Nah.

#31 Snowboarding
Sounds fun.

#32 Vegan/Vegetarianism
See #6.

#33 Marijuana
No comment.

#34 Architecture
I can pick the Taj Mahal and the Eiffel Tower out of a lineup, does that count?

#35 The Daily Show/Colbert Report
Funny, but not staples.

#36 Breakfast Places
Yum. See again, fried foods.

#37 Renovations
Easy there, hot rod. I'm far too lazy for that.

#38 Arrested Development
Pretty sure I've seen this once.

#39 Netflix
Um, yeah, canceled.

#40 Apple Products
I do love my iPod. A lot.

#41 Indie Music
I'm very into what my brother and boyfriend now call "adult alternative." Thank God it's not "adult contemporary" as the thought of Michael Bolton makes me sad.

#42 Sushi
This is one item I wish I liked. ICK.

#43 Plays
Fun, but not a staple.

#44 Public Radio
A definite staple! I a-dore Cartalk and Prairie Home Companion. Also like Morning/Evening Edition quite a lot. Oh, and Thistle and Shamrock.

#45 Asian Fusion Food
Because the Chef in my life is an expert at this, YES!

#46 The Sunday New York Times
Not yet a habit. Actully, I think I read the books section once, but that's it.

#47 Arts Degrees
Have one, of the "Liberal" variety.

#48 Whole Foods and Grocery Co-ops
See #5.

#49 Vintage
I am an environmentally unconscious American ass who loves new stuff.

#50 Irony
Me? Irony? Certainly not.

I'll do the other half tomorrow!

Quote that made me laugh today

2008-05-06T15:56:00.002-04:00

The definitions of pretty:

"Pretty means pretty. Cute means pretty but short and or hyper active. Beautiful means pretty and tall. Gorgeous means pretty with great hair. Striking means pretty with a big nose. Sexy means pretty and easy. Exotic means... ugly." --Vicki Lewis as Beth on News Radio

By these definitions, I'm both cute (hyperactive, in many instances, except when napping) and gorgeous. Which are you?

Cheers!

Because I care that you smile today

2008-05-05T13:13:00.001-04:00

I am posting this:

Life in the ATL, or Atlanta for us white chicks.

2008-04-24T18:59:00.005-04:00

I'm in Marietta, GA with two of my favorite wimmins -- Lola and Allie (the hairbanger.)

Bangin' Lola's hayers:

Finish product of my banged my hayers (I'm blond again!):

Then, we had margaritas. See Lo's finished hayers and Allie's HAWT 'do:

Here's a preview of our concert experience. We sang along with Mraz. Mraz, the one I've adored since one of my first 5 or 6 posts.

Must go now. More lolling to do.

Brand Equity

2008-04-19T13:12:00.002-04:00

Brand Equity

According to Wikipedia (which, incidentally, j'a-DORE), Brand equity refers to the marketing effects or outcomes that accrue to a product with its brand name compared with those that would accrue if the same product did not have the brand name. That is, when people think of coffee, they also think of Starbucks. (Sorry Christel.)

I wanted to announce that I have spectacular brand equity. Spectacular, I tell you!

At the beginning of 2008, I took over my new job as a marketing editor. I love this job. I've long said I only care about people and words -- and I'm pretty serious about that. This job is people and words: charming people into making decisions and seeing things a certain way, then making it linguistically perfect. Nice! It's also fantastically overwhelming, and very nearly impossible to actually accomplish all the projects we have going on, due to volume alone. Prima donna personalities notwithstanding.

I say all that to say this: all my colleagues are new to me. And yet they know exactly who I am. It's strange and unbelievably cool.

The colleagues I'm making friends with (nearly all of them, as they are awesome women!) are constantly saying things like, "Stacey, I thought of you this weekend when I was shopping, I saw something you'd love..." and it's always something I'd love. Something shiny, or sparkling, or literature-related, or maybe it's a tiara. Nancy calls me The Glitteratti. BWAHAHAHA! This cracks me up to no end. I always knew I was obvious and, shall we say, ridiculously transparent. But I never thought of this as a good or even a funny thing. And now, I have a marketing term to describe this little phenomenon that makes me laugh.

I have spectacular brand equity. Thinking of glitter? Think of me.

Earthquake Update

2008-04-18T13:15:00.002-04:00

This morning, around 5:30 EDT, there was a 5.2 earthquake at the Wabash fault (a northern branch of the New Madrid).

My VBF woke to feel her house shaking and hear the window rattling, and she lives about five hours north of the epicenter.

My colleague Nancy, a former resident of Los Angeles, popped out of bed and headed for a door frame, to protect herself from falling objects. (The Fig and I learned the same technique while attending elementary school in the Bay Area.)

The Hairbanger called to make sure I was OK after the quake. I assured her I was.

I had slept through the whole thing.

Best LOLcat e-var.

2008-04-02T15:59:00.000-04:00

see more crazy cat pics

A quote I truly love.

2008-03-25T17:28:00.001-04:00

If you want to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first create the universe.

-- Carl Sagan

For Christel

2008-03-19T18:15:00.002-04:00

Because she understands how hot I am. (Hot, not sexy, in this case. Just in this case.)

Here's a portion of a brilliant note to Mother Nature:

"You and I have had our differences before. As one who sweats profusely under certain conditions, such as sitting quietly at room temperature, I wasn't too wild about the summer of 2005. By late June I was technically classified as an estuary."

Click here for entire article.

Gonorrhea on Valentine’s Day

2008-02-27T18:08:00.004-05:00

A seminal person from my adolescence and early adulthood has died. You’ve probably never heard of Larry Norman, but I considered him a friend and a hero. Larry died on Saturday after a life rich with love, stories, faith, conversation, friends, music, controversy, heartbreak, travel, adventure, and creativity. He is also known as the “Father of Christian Rock,” which, in my opinion, is a hilarious title for him. I’d call him a Revolutionary Heart.

See here some of the lyrics to his song The Great American Novel as supporting evidence:

i was born and raised an orphan
in a land that once was free
in a land that poured its love out on the moon
and i grew up in the shadows
of your silos filled with grain
but you never helped to fill my empty spoon

and when i was ten you murdered law
with courtroom politics
and you learned to make a lie sound just like truth
but i know you better now
and i don't fall for all your tricks
and you've lost the one advantage of my youth

you kill a black man at midnight
just for talking to your daughter
then you make his wife your mistress
and you leave her without water
and the sheet you wear upon your face
is the sheet your children sleep on
at every meal you say a prayer
you don't believe but still you keep on

and your money says in God we trust
but it's against the law to pray in school
you say we beat the russians to the moon
and i say you starved your children to do it

you are far across the ocean
but the war is not your own
and while you're winning theirs
you're gonna lose the one at home
do you really think the only way
to bring about the peace
is to sacrifice your children
and kill all your enemies

the politicians all make speeches
while the news men all take note
and they exagerate the issues
as they shove them down our throats
is it really up to them
whether this country sinks or floats
well i wonder who would lead us
if none of us would vote

well my phone is tapped and my lips are chapped
from whispering through the fence
you know every move i make
or is that just coincidence
well you try to make my way of life
a little less like jail
if i promise to make tapes and slides
and send them through the mail

and your money says in God we trust
but it's against the law to pray in school
you say we beat the russians to the moon
and i say you starved your children to do it
you say all men are equal all men are brothers
then why are the rich more equal than others
don't ask me for the answer i've only got one
that a man leaves his darkness when he follows the Son.

(Click HERE to hear him sing it.)

Once upon a time, I met Larry at a retreat that my youth pastor had arranged. That was in January of 1987, I believe. We were in northern Indiana, and on the church bus trip back to Indianapolis we stopped at McDonald’s. Larry said, “C’mon, I’ll buy you a burger.” (This still makes the VeryBestFriend and me and laugh.) We were NUTS about both Larry and our youth minister. Later that year, VBF and I went to Florida on spring break; my dad and mom drove. VBF and I insisted on playing Larry the whole way down. And back. Not only that, we frequently piped up with "I'm Larry Norman." "No, I'M Larry Norman." I'm surprised my dad didn't throw us out of the car.

Anyway, sometime during the retreat weekend, Larry said about this life and the hereafter, “I think you get where you’re going.”

Enjoy your destination, Larry.

So.crazy.

2008-02-22T15:42:00.002-05:00

Enter the ICHC online Poker Cats Contest!

Emailed Meme.

2008-01-31T16:22:00.000-05:00

Place an X by all the things you've done, or remove the X from the ones you have not. Then answer the questions below and send it to your friends, or post on your veryownblog.

(X) Smoked a cigarette.
( ) Drank so much you threw up
(X) Had feelings for someone who didn't have them back
( ) Been arrested
( ) Gone on a blind date
( ) Skipped school
( ) Watched someone die
(X) Been to Canada
(X) Been to Europe
( ) Been to Asia
(X) Been to Mexico
(X) Been to Florida
(X) Been on a plane
(X) Been lost
(X) Been on the opposite side of the country
(X) Gone to Washington, DC.
(X) Swam in the ocean
(X) Cried yourself to sleep
(X) Played cops and robbers ---(or cowboys and Indians!!?)
(X) Recently colored with crayons.
(X) Sang karaoke
(X) Paid for a meal with only coins
(X) Ate the same thing for a week to save money.
(X) Done something you told yourself you wouldn't?
(X) Made prank phone calls
(X) Laughed until some kind of beverage came out of your nose
(X) Caught a snowflake on your tongue and made snow angels
(X) Danced in the rain
(X) Written a letter to Santa Claus
( ) Been kissed under the mistletoe
( ) Watched the sunrise with someone you care about
(X) Blown bubbles
(X) Made a bonfire on the beach?
(X) Crashed a party
( ) Ever done it in the back seat of your car?
(X) Gone ice-skating
(X) Been skinny dipping...
( ) Gone to the movies, paid for one ticket, and then snuck into another theater to see a different feature afterwards

1. Any nickname? Aunt Tasty or just Tasty
2. Mother's name? Charlene Ann
3. Favorite drink? Coffee, Vodka, Ice water!
4. Tattoos? Yep, two.
5. Body piercing? Ears.
6. How much do you love your job? A BUNCH! But, I'm still going to leave it one day.
7. Birthplace? Pax River, Maryland.
8. Favorite vacation spot? Seattle.
9. Ever been to Africa? Nope.
10. Ever eaten cookies for dinner? Have you MET me?
11. Ever steal any traffic signs? Nah.
12. Ever been in a car accident? Yes.
13. Drive a 2-door or 4-door vehicle? 5!
14. Are you in the mile high club? No.
15. Favorite salad dressing? Blue Cheese.
16. Favorite pie? Cherry.
17. Favorite number? 3, 4, 5, 9... which is the right answer???
18. Favorite movie(s)? Princess Bride, Holy Grail, The Jerk, many more.
19. Favorite holiday? 4th o' July.
20. Favorite Dessert? Ice cream, cheesecake.
21. Favorite food? This week, it's pork tenderloin sandwiches, made by Todd.
22. Favorite day of the week? Every one of them!
23. Favorite brand of body wash? Bath & Body Works True Blue scrub stuff.
24. Favorite toothpaste? Aquafresh Extreme Clean
25. Favorite smell? Puppy breath.
26. Favorite Sound? Apparently, my own voice.
27. What do you do to relax? Laugh and nap.
28. Do you have a message to your friends reading this? You are a rockstar.
29. How do you see yourself in 10 years? As a fabulous, happy, healthy, gorgeous 48 year old woman who travels a lot.
30. Furthest place you will send this message? Who knows? I'm posting it.
31. Who will respond to this the fastest? Not knowin'.
32. Who is the least likely to respond? Not knowin' that, either. Prolly my dad. This one is long and kinda silly. :-)

Best political commentary. Ever.

2008-01-21T10:17:00.000-05:00

Who knew I'd have so much in common with the creators of South Park. (Sorry, Dad.) I stumbled/surfed upon an interview with Trey Parker and Matt Stone during which Parker said, "George Bush doesn't know what's going on. Michael Moore does not know what's going on. And Alec Baldwin definitely does not know what's going on." That part made me laugh.

The part of the interview I found so brilliant? "People on the far left and the far right are the same exact person to us." They are to me, too.

Late to the party, but here I am with my fancy shoes on!

2008-01-11T18:06:00.000-05:00

Here’s how it works:

Link to the person that tagged you: Brian and others!

Post the rules for the meme on your blog. And here they are:

Share 7 random and/or weird facts about yourself on your blog, tag 7 random people at the end of your post and include links to their blogs. Let each person know that they have been tagged by leaving a comment on their blog.

OK, lemme think.

My new job is insanity-making what with the deadlines and the details and the working on 45 projects (approx) AT ONE TIME and the spelling and punctuation malarkey. I. LOVE. IT.

I also would almost rather go to a movie alone than with someone. I don't want any whispering or to share my carmel corn or coke with you. I also want to be able to leave without worrying about what you want. For *me* this is really a commentary on my life. I don't really, truly want to consult with anyone. I don't care to discuss daily decisions, just philosophical positions. I'm superfun to live with!

One of my very best friends once said to my boyfriend, "Seriously, you have to speak up and be strong with the Ericksons. If you don't, they'll just run you over." And I took it exactly in the spirit in which it was intended. I love it 'cause it's true.

It almost took me longer to decide I could live without Ruby and Opal (my dogs) than it took me to decide if I could divorce Grimace (former spouse). Turns out, I can live without them. Though, I'd rather like to keep living with the puppers.

Y'all prolly know this, but. As much as I LOVE the party/gathering/dinner with friends on a very, very frequent basis, I LOVE being alone equally as much. Turns out, I'm decent company, and damn if I don't love a silent evening reading. Or watching TV with no interruptions. At all. (Maybe this is why I don't have les bebes.)

Being an aunt to Beth's kids is way more precious to me than I ever imagined it would be. It gets sweeter all the time, too. Part of my plan for general improvement/growing into some more of my potential includes being a better aunt.

I would much rather eat popcorn for dinner than have to do dishes.

Now I'm supposed to tag some people. But all my peoples did this already, except for His Dadness. Tag!

Something I'm doing less of this year:

2008-01-08T18:46:00.000-05:00

Cartoon of myself

2008-01-08T15:32:00.000-05:00

When I mentioned that something turns me into a "cartoon of myself," my darling Terri piped up with, "I envision a large Portuguese female superhero, named Estacey del las Flamencos, with a pink satin cape and a tiara, whapping the ignorant with her scepter of justice."

Is perfection, no?

A driveby a la Allie and Christel...

2008-01-07T20:11:00.001-05:00

What Stacey Means

You are the total package - suave, sexy, smart, and strong.
You have the whole world under your spell, and you can influence almost everyone you know.
You don't always resist your urges to crush the weak. Just remember, they don't have as much going for them as you do.

You are a seeker. You often find yourself restless - and you have a lot of questions about life.
You tend to travel often, to fairly random locations. You're most comfortable when you're far away from home.
You are quite passionate and easily tempted. Your impulses sometimes get you into trouble.

You are usually the best at everything ... you strive for perfection.
You are confident, authoritative, and aggressive.
You have the classic "Type A" personality.

You are very open. You communicate well, and you connect with other people easily.
You are a naturally creative person. Ideas just flow from your mind.
A true chameleon, you are many things at different points in your life. You are very adaptable.

You are friendly, charming, and warm. You get along with almost everyone.
You work hard not to rock the boat. Your easy going attitude brings people together.
At times, you can be a little flaky and irresponsible. But for the important things, you pull it together.

You are a free spirit, and you resent anyone who tries to fence you in.
You are unpredictable, adventurous, and always a little surprising.
You may miss out by not settling down, but you're too busy having fun to care.

What's Your Name's Hidden Meaning?

The lil' nephews turn 3!

2007-12-21T10:11:00.001-05:00

Have you ever seen anyone cuter? I love you, little dudes!

me2me2me2!

2007-12-20T11:38:00.001-05:00

Because, ohmygoodness, so funny!

2007-12-03T14:21:00.000-05:00

Click me! I found this clever person via Dooce, but somehow missed it in the middle of November. Loved it!

For the Auntie

2007-11-28T19:11:00.000-05:00

moar Click here, Auntie G.

Most favorite LOLcat ev-ar.

2007-11-27T15:10:00.001-05:00

When I first saw this little guy, I didn't know there was an actual site full of these, but I knew this made me giggle. Heartily! Also, I'm working on an actual post. About which I'm torqued up, so, that should be fun.

moar funi kittehs and walruzez

Another hee!

2007-11-14T16:59:00.001-05:00

I was milling around in a quote website and found this on that made me laugh. It goes right along with my duplex theory.

"Sometimes I wonder if men and women really suit each other. Perhaps they should live next door and just visit now and then." --Katharine Hepburn

Hee!

2007-11-07T15:07:00.000-05:00

What happens when you're irritated with your boyfriend, as told by Allie.

[The end of the phone conversation]

He: "I love you."

She: "Well, you make me tired."

I like lots of things...

2007-11-05T13:11:00.001-05:00

... but breathing is my favorite!

Hallowe'en Witch

2007-10-29T20:39:00.001-04:00

Stolen

2007-10-29T19:59:00.000-04:00

A Halloween Story

A bald man with a wooden leg gets invited to a Halloween party. He doesn't know what costume to wear to hide his head and his leg so he writes to a costume company to explain his problem. A few days later, he received a parcel with the following note:

Dear Sir,

Please find enclosed a pirate's outfit. The spotted handkerchief will cover your bald head and, with your wooden leg, you will be just right as a pirate.

Very truly yours,
Acme Costume Co.

The man thinks this is terrible because they have emphasized his wooden leg and so he writes a letter of complaint. A week goes by and he receives another parcel and a note, which said:

Dear Sir,

Please find enclosed a monk's habit. The long robe will cover your wooden leg and, with your bald head, you will really look the part.

Very truly yours,
Acme Costume Co.

Now the man is really upset since they have gone from emphasizing his wooden leg to emphasizing his bald head so again he writes the company another nasty letter of complaint. The next day he gets a small parcel and a note, which reads:

Dear Sir,

Please find enclosed a bottle of molasses and a bag of crushed nuts. Pour the molasses over your bald head, pat on crushed nuts, stick your wooden leg up your ass and go as a caramel apple.

Very truly yours,
Acme Costume Co.

Happy birthday, Dadness.

2007-10-23T21:34:00.000-04:00

Happy birthday, Dadness.

You're the one who introduced me to the concept of Not Crying Over Spilled Milk. It has translated into a pretty healthy mindset now that I've extrapolated it. As it turns out, all that stuff you told me would build character? It did. Thank you for everything you did and continue to do to make sure I am a decent human being. Everything good I am is because of you.

A bit of housecleaning.

2007-10-19T15:54:00.000-04:00

I chose to hide/delete some comments over the last few weeks, and I wanted to address something that was asked of me. A right good question, in fact. Here it is.

Auntie G, I have carefully considered “Why I snapped” at Todd in the first place over the last few days, and I have a pretty clear picture why I did.

Anytime I do something which does not bring peace, hope, or unity happens when I’m living from fear. Whenever I’m able to do anything kind, generous, or unifying, happens when I’m living from a position of love.

Living from a position of love is the strangest, most responsible, most powerful, most delicious place to be, and yet… I forget. I forget and tip-toe back over to Fear, thinking maybe I won’t have what I need, or maybe my relationships will fail, or maybe I’m not good enough. All lies I tell myself, obviously.

Living in Fear is the opposite of who I actually am as part of the universe. Living in love is who I actually am. Fear itself is the static that seems to get louder and louder when I allow myself to go for days just running on pattern. (Get up, shower, dress, go to work, come home, think little.) Love is what happens, and is thus shared, when I remind myself to hush, be love, and go back to The Source. (I choose to call it God.) When I recognize myself as part of The Source, the source of love, peace, and unity, I don’t snap.

When I hush, listen, and connect with The Source through prayer and meditation, I am reminded of my home: Love. I am reminded who I am: Love. The Source quiets my self-made mind, and allows Love to live itself out in me.

Do I have this down pat? Fuck, no. But it’s awesome to know who I am. And what is possible because of the The Source.

I love it when...

2007-10-19T12:18:00.000-04:00

...God does a miracle. And lets me participate. And then, just to top it all off, lets me see how love wins. Always.

From January to March of this year, Todd and I had a fairly regular visitor to our door. The first knock came when it was literally 2 degrees outside, and we were pretty much snowed in. Matt, we'll call him that because it's his name, knocked and offered to dig out the front walk. The help was well worth the money, so I hired him because a.) Todd was at work, and b.) I sure wasn't doing it when I could climb out if necessary. Hey, 2 freakin' degrees!

Matt was young, obviously homeless, and obviously drug addicted. It was also obvious that he still wanted to be proud of himself somehow, even in the midst of the very bad place his mind and body were living. After he was done shoveling, I paid him and asked where his shelter for the night was. He told me that he had a room for the night, and a few more dollars would pay for it, which is why he asked to shovel the walk. Because it was so damn cold, I told him to come in, be warm, and I'd bundle up then take him to his shelter. He refused, but I insisted, especially since this person was now in my home I couldn't in good conscience send him out to walk anywhere in that weather, wet from shoveling walks, and not the best coat I'd ever seen. Like, no way.

In the car on the way to "the shelter," he talked a little bit about where he went to college (an excellent school) and what sort of job he used to have (a well-paying one in a technical field). He said, "I bet you wonder how I got this way."

"No," I said, "I know how it happened. One of the most important people in the world to me is a recovering addict." I think he was a little surprised.

"What's so ridiculous is that I've relapsed. I was sober for seven months before I quit my recovery."

I told him I was sorry and asked him what was his drug of choice. "Crack."

"Honey, you're going to die," I said. "You already know where I live, here's my card. Call me any time of the day or night if you need to go to a meeting or can get into an inpatient program. I'll drive you."

Matt wasn't quite done beating the shit out of himself, and showed up probably six or seven more times over those three months. Once I knew what his drug was, we resisted giving him any more than a few dollars at a time, and just had him come in and talk and eat. My sweet chef fed him several times and made him feel welcome in our home, even though it made him so very sad. Whenever Matt came by, it left Todd with a deep sadness because his situation was so desperate, and seemed so hopeless. I was always thankful that Todd didn't prevent me from inviting him in and that he shared with Matt even though it made him sad. I always offered to wash or dry his clothes if he wanted, but he never let me.

The last time we talked, he was especially exhausted. He admitted that he wasn't going to keep his life up much longer, and he needed help. He told me he'd have to turn himself in, do 30 days for probation violation, and then get inpatient treatment. I asked him to please, please let me know when he got in.

We had never heard from Matt again, but Todd and I talked about him often, and I prayed for him a LOT. I talked about him to Tina and Terri, and he was never really far from my mind.

Friday, Todd and I were talking about him and hoping he'd gone into recovery and that's why we never heard from him anymore. I chose to believe that he had, but sometimes I was scared that he'd gotten high and wandered into traffic or something. I just hoped with all my heart that his parents had not had to lose him. I had no way to get hold of them or him.

Saturday, at about noon, the doorbell rang.

Since I was feeling under the weather that day, Todd answered the door, went out and pulled the door mostly shut behind him. A young, healthy, nice-looking, smiling guy said, "Hi!" Todd had no idea who this person was. He obviously thought Todd should know him. "You don't remember me, do you?" Then, Matt asked, "Is that Stacey in there?" Todd said he looked like he was about to cry, even through his smile.

"Matt! I didn't recognize you, man. Come in!"

I cried, I hugged him, we all tried to control ourselves. It was one of the happiest moments of my life. Matt said we had been on his mind a lot over the last seven months, and because he was working on his 9th step ("make direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others") wanted to come talk with us. He was entirely honest about his dealings with us in the past. I was absolutely inspired by how responsible he was in his conversation.

In addition to telling the truth about his past, we also learned that he's been doing the serious work of recovery since the middle of March, he's enjoying his life, has a nice car, a great job, and people he loves, including his parents. He's also pretty excited about his motorcycle.

He also thanked us for -- and this is the part that will stick with us forever -- treating him with love and humanity when people were looking at him like he was a shrub.

He asked if there was anything he could do to make amends for the lies he had told, and for showing up unexpectedly so many times. We assured him that he was doing just that by letting God take over, healing his addictions, and living the beautiful life that he was meant to live. He wasn't satisfied with just that, and left a gift for us, as well.

The sweetest gift, though, was the letter he left telling us that he understands life to be what "you showed me" at the beginning of this year: love for and service to others.

I have never been so humbled or thrilled to be a very tiny part of someone's miracle.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"You must behave as if your every act, even the smallest,

impacted a thousand people for a hundred generations... because it does."

-- Müller

FYI

2007-10-17T15:54:00.000-04:00

I am a "Cool History/Lit Geek"

I'm not really a waitress, either.

2007-10-15T21:33:00.000-04:00

OK, here are mine:

Mary Kay
Pink Starshine
Pink Bikini

Sinful Colors
Crux
Celia

Sally Hansen
Tranquil Taupe
Supershine (2)

L'Oreal
Bijoux Holographics Island Twilight
Sheer Innocence
Dripping Rubies
Moonlit Mauve (an all-time favorite ltd edition that I can't find ANYWHERE!)
Rose Zing
Firma Nail
Go Chili
Sheer Bliss

Victoria's Secret
Platinum

OPI
Windy City Pretty
Lincoln Park After Dark
Los Angeles Latte
Up the Amazon Without a Paddle
Pompeii Purple
Shanghai Shimmer
Maui Mango
Jewel of India
Kimono'ver Here
OPI Red (2)
Cajun Shrimp
Prince George's Passion
Mrs. O'Leary's BBQ
Magala Wine
Sonora Sunset
You're Such a Kabuki Queen
La Paz-itively Hot
Queen of De Nile
Strawberry Margarita
I'm Not Really a Waitress

While I only have 37 listed here -- a sad number by any Numb3r standards -- I'm sure I have 6-8 more rolling around in various bathroom drawers. It's a crime against humanity. ;-)

For my LOLCAT loving friends.

2007-10-15T15:45:00.000-04:00

You have seen I CAN HAS CHEEZBURGER, yes? No? Click here and go see. I will wait.

...waiting...

OK, now that you've sampled, I want to share with you what my soul sister sent to me today, and I snorted with GLEE, I tell you! Glee!

This is the Lord's Prayer in LOLCAT. Yes, it's not terribly reverent, but damn it's funny.

DadCat ovr Ceiling
Ur name it rly rly g00d
Somday Ur kingdom we has it
U say whut, we does, on floor n ovr Ceiling
We can has cheezburger evry dai k?
We be bad U no sqrt bottl k?
N if sombody be bad 2 us we no bite
No mak us badkitties k?
Badstuff -- DO NOT WANT!
Kingdom, U has it! Ur pwning all teh d00dz! 4EVAH!
KTHXBAI

If you click the link on LOLCAT above, it will take you to a translator. It's definitely not as good as this one, but it's a start on the stupidity-fest that makes me laugh EVERY DAY.

BWHAHAHA!!

2007-10-15T00:10:00.000-04:00

Tonight Todd said of my Facebook picture (seen here)

I saw that picture and I thought, "She's been divorced twice. But, how many has she killed?"

About nothing better than a funny man.

Letter: 38 years and 10 days old.

2007-10-12T11:03:00.000-04:00

Anaheim, Calif.
Oct. 2nd, 1969

Miss Stacey Leigh
514 Garrison Dr.
California, Md.

Dear Stacey,

This is probably the first letter you have ever received and the writer feels highly honored because of your arrival, it has made me a Great Grandfather, something I never thought I would be lucky enough to be.

Of course you can’t read yet so your parents will have to read it for you.

Now your G. Grandfather would like the privilege of helping to make you comfortable during your first year and there are only two things a little lady of your age needs to keep her in solid comfort, one is a nice warm bottle of milk and the other is a dry diaper. I inquired about the cost of keeping one baby in diapers for one year and the diaper laundry said they would furnish everything for 250.00. It may be more or less where you live, so I am enclosing a check made out to you for 500.00 and if there is any left you can always buy an all-day-sucker or an ice cream cone with the rest.

Now here is some good advice that will also help to keep you comfortable, when you feel hungry or a little damp, you just start to yell (just a little bit at first) and if no one pays attention to you, just yell louder and louder until you get some service. Now don’t feel that you are being unusual, because this is a racket (or method) that has been forever successful. Now after your parents have made you comfortable again, all you have to do is goo and smile a little, because that’s all the pay they want. Now don’t overdo that yell business, because they might just get smart and quit jumping so quick.

Since the check is made out to you personally, it will be necessary for your fingerprint to appear above your mother’s signature before the check can be cashed.

Here are some other things you will probably learn yourself: those two things that keep showing up in front of your face with those wiggly things on the end of them are your hands, and you will be surprised how many things you can do with them. Also, the two other things you see once in a while are your feet. Now those feet are very handy when you learn to balance on them they will keep you right-side-up. When you feel hoppy, you can use them to hop, skip, and jump, and you can also kick people with them, but the latter is not practical.

Last but not least: you have two very fine parents who will take care of all the details for you, they will love and care for you until you are able to take care of yourself.

You are from good stock and I want to welcome you to the clan.

Love to you & your parents,
your G. Grandfather
John D. Moss

Happy, yet insane.

2007-10-11T23:46:00.000-04:00

I'm shitty at living with people. I know this because I adore Todd, and yet I snap at him. For idiot things that do not matter. Someone, please tell me how to calm the crap down.

I'm open for suggestions and coaching, starting now.

Go.

Best misspelling of the week.

2007-10-11T15:09:00.000-04:00

For an amythest ring I happened upon over at craigslist.org:

Amithithist & diamond ring - $30

Great price, though.

A poem by Carl Dennis.

2007-10-10T17:04:00.000-04:00

The God Who Loves You

It must be troubling for the god who loves you
To ponder how much happier you’d be today
Had you been able to glimpse your many futures.
It must be painful for him to watch you on Friday evenings
Driving home from the office, content with your week—
Three fine houses sold to deserving families—
Knowing as he does exactly what would have happened
Had you gone to your second choice for college,
Knowing the roommate you’d have been allotted
Whose ardent opinions on painting and music
Would have kindled in you a lifelong passion.
A life thirty points above the life you’re living
On any scale of satisfaction. And every point
A thorn in the side of the god who loves you.
You don’t want that, a large-souled man like you
Who tries to withhold from your wife the day’s disappointments
So she can save her empathy for the children.
And would you want this god to compare your wife
With the woman you were destined to meet on the other campus?
It hurts you to think of him ranking the conversation
You’d have enjoyed over there higher in insight
Than the conversation you’re used to.
And think how this loving god would feel
Knowing that the man next in line for your wife
Would have pleased her more than you ever will
Even on your best days, when you really try.
Can you sleep at night believing a god like that
Is pacing his cloudy bedroom, harassed by alternatives
You’re spared by ignorance? The difference between what is
And what could have been will remain alive for him
Even after you cease existing, after you catch a chill
Running out in the snow for the morning paper,
Losing eleven years that the god who loves you
Will feel compelled to imagine scene by scene
Unless you come to the rescue by imagining him
No wiser than you are, no god at all, only a friend
No closer than the actual friend you made at college,
The one you haven’t written in months. Sit down tonight
And write him about the life you can talk about
With a claim to authority, the life you’ve witnessed,
Which for all you know is the life you’ve chosen.

Carl Dennis, “The God Who Loves You” from Practical Gods. Copyright © 2001 by Carl Dennis.

Between courses.

2007-10-09T20:53:00.000-04:00

Welcome to your own kitchen, thank you for dining at home. Your chef is your server, and tipping is welcomed. Though, no money is accepted. (Nudge-nudge, wink-wink.)

I'm sitting at my kitchen table, having just eaten a divine salad of red onion, greens, a tiny dab of bleu cheese, and some crunchy hearts of palm. Now I'm between courses, and Todd is working on a wine sauce for some beef he's roasting. No, it's really not on the Body-for-Life plan, but it's certainly a celebration meal. My SEVEN interviews went wonderfully well. Every time I think, "There's just no way I'll find another team as amazing as the one I'm working with now..." it happens. I meet more amazing people. Every single person was smart, talented, and driven. And most of them also came equipped with a sense of humor. After a few of the interviews, the manager (who I'd already spoken with) came back and said, "Now, there's a bit of concern among the team members. They wanted to ask if you're able to provide a certain amount of 'sick and twisted' to the mix." WOO HOO!

This was the perfect time to let them in on the secret that I only have about six hours per day of "normal" and that's sort of a rare day. He was pleased, and indeed indicated that six hours may have been a few more than most of the team was able to accomplish. I assured him that the six hours don't happen consecutively.

It would appear that beef and polenta is coming my way, so I'll close for now. More later, including how I tipped the chef. You know, if it isn't too personal.

Off to see the wizard. Or something like that.

2007-10-07T23:59:00.000-04:00

Somehow, it seems that Monday is upon me again.

This week there will be new things in my life... including the beginning of a new pursuit of physical and spiritual health. I had originally planned on doing a course called Mastery through the same company I did my leadership coaching program, but decided to choose something else. Some friends of mine and I are going to pursue some education, including inviting a teacher or two to hang with us for a weekend retreat. Also, I found a retreat in Virginia in January that has some speakers I want to hear. Todd wants to go back to the church on 16th and Delaware near our house. I'm up for that, too.

And Tina and I are starting the daily workout before office hours. GAH! Wish me discipline.

AND my soul sister and I are starting Body-for-Life. I have GOT to plan for that tomorrow, or the whole schedule will be thrown off.

Yes, I know this entry was thrilling.

Love!

Fourth day of a diet, indeed.

2007-10-06T20:14:00.001-04:00

I neglected to post yesterday, as was my vague idea, but apparently not my intention.

I've been scheduled for seven interviews on Tuesday, for a the job (within corporate America) that I love. I've been doing the identical job for a different team for the last four months or so, filling in for a woman who has been on maternity leave. I LURVE this job, and am looking forward to doing it on a more permanent basis.

Let us back up. SEVEN interviews. One day. Sounds fun, no? Actually, what's funny is I do not mind interviews one bit. Maybe it's the performer in me, and maybe it's that this is actually the job I want as long as I'm hanging around an office anyway. (The position is Editor of a Brand Team. EDITING AND MARKETING. Life is sweet sometimes, you know?) In any case, I don't mind an interview or two. Or seven.

I have more things to say about work, but right now, I'm going back upstairs to lie down and read some more. I'm home alone, it is silent, and I'm not obligated to do anything but read.

Slice o' heaven, as far as I can tell.

Love!

Congratulations, anonymous commenter.

2007-10-04T10:08:00.000-04:00

Congratulations, you win! You've irritated me enough that I'm dedicating a post to YOU. Enjoy this attention, as this is all you get.

To answer all of your comments and questions at once, here you go:

I don't know your identity by name, but I do know it by character. I learned this by your actions, i.e., the following: You started by questioning my love for an loyalty to God. You followed that up with an exaggeration of my failed relationships that was meant to be demeaning. Then, you hinted that you might want physical affection from me. (I did take that as a very lame joke.) I don't require anyone of your character anywhere in my life.
You are a festival of judement from marriages, to swearing, to drinking.
You've talked in your comments as though you know me and my family, yet do not reveal your name.
You've spelled my name wrong, which is a sign of laziness among other things.
You don't pay attention when you read me, as I didn't say I "still wanted to have kids."
The time when I'll allow you to comment on my blog again is "never."
Your use of "........................." is ridiculous. There is no such punctuation in English.

You're, of course, welcome to keep reading and commenting. However, I will continue to ignore comments from anonymous readers.

At the behest of Christel.

2007-10-03T20:18:00.000-04:00

Once upon a lovely time, Lola and I drove down to Dande’s house in West Virginia, -- where Christel had already arrived -- for a visit. I must confess that I was one wornthehellout girl when we arrived because, Lola? Fucking hilarious. She made me laugh about every 45 seconds the entire way from Louisville to BFE.

When we arrived, we piled out of the car with all our worldly goods, and into Dande’s dining room, where we commenced the tequila shots. (If you know me in person, you know that practically everything makes me hot: too many layers of clothes, the room being three degrees warmer than I prefer, pantyhose, summer, etc. Christel always says I should come visit her in Texas, but she’s afraid that unless I sleep in a chest freezer I’ll spontaneously combust. She’s probably right. I digress.) So, of course, I announced to the room that “tequila makes me hot!” Dande parried with “tequila makes me naked!” She totally won, yes?

Our darlin' Dande, who is also Holly Homemaker on Crack, made the most delicious foods for our collective consumption, including Heavenly Hummus (I just named it that), and various baked products which were all good enough to transport us from her darlin' house in the holler directly to paradise. We ate and ate. And, in order to combat our heartbreak over the fact that Allie wasn't able to join us for this visit, Dande, her fab hubby, Christel, Lola, and I drank to excess. Oh man, did we ever. I don't remember many of the hilarious things that were said and done that evening, but I certainly do recall that I stupidly and happily consumed no fewer than three shots of tequila, something like four margaritas (two shots tequila each AND triple sec), and, just for good measure, two beers. (Two beers?)

Let's just say that the next morning I only survived because Dande's dude made me lots of fried foods. I swore off drinking for.ever. Because, to quote Christel -- who was 100% correct -- I was s. t. rugglin'.

We did all manner of silly girl things that day, including shopping at the town's major retailer, The Dollar General. Mostly, I spent lots of time lying on the blow up mattress in the living room. Naturally, later that night, we went to Redneck Karaoke (Dande named it that.) Further, I drank about seven beers. (Seven?!)

In any case, we piled home after singing Earl Had to Die at the top of our lungs in a group, of course, and ate more ridiculous greasy things. Not the least of which was the delicious snack I made up because I am a dork: squirt cheese on Lay's potato chips. Yum.

I miss you girls. All y'all.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
I realized after I was nearly asleep that I left out an important part of this story! The best part of Lays and squirt cheese is that I was sitting right by Christel, in the same damn chair, and we were giggling and snorting with glee!!!!!!!!

No matter HOW happy you are with your lovin' man...

2007-10-03T17:26:00.000-04:00

...there are days. And on those days, THIS (from my soul sister) is hilarious!

The world's shortest fairy tale

Once upon a time, a guy asked a girl "Will you marry me?" The girl said "NO!" And the girl lived happily ever after and went shopping, dancing, camping, drank martinis, always had a clean house, never had to cook, did whatever the hell she wanted, never argued, didn't get fat, traveled more, had many lovers, didn't save money, and had all the hot water to herself. She went to the theater, never watched sports, never wore friggin' lacy lingerie that went up her ass, had high self esteem, never cried or yelled, felt and looked fabulous in sweat pants and was pleasant all the time.

THE END

11 p.m. again!

2007-10-02T22:53:00.000-04:00

This post is just to keep my word on blogging daily for 30 days. (Or 60 or 90 or a year, as I'm prayerfully considering.) I'm sleepy and going to have a nice nap now. I'm taking suggestions on tomorrow's blog entry. You know, requests. The only thing I won't do is House of the Rising Sun. (Hi, mom!)

I continue to be grateful for breath, peace, and challenge.

BIG love!

Some thoughts for 11:00 p.m.

2007-10-01T23:04:00.000-04:00

What is your vision? If someone pointed a weapon, say, a gun, at your head, and insisted that you reveal the vision you have for your life and the world you live in, what would you say? Do you have any idea what your vision is?

I'd like to suggest that your vision is at least partly what you currently have. So, if you're living in a (super cool) duplex on Pennsylvania St., that's your vision. And by "you," I mean me. I know that part of my vision is to live in a duplex on Penn, with my a-dorable boyfriend and our dog, to struggle with my weight, to seek God and a relationship with Her (hi, fundamentalists!), to dig deep and get honest about my ability to partner with someone for the rest of my life (hi, those who judge my divorces!), to discover what my calling is (I think I just may know!), to pray with raw honesty about my desire -- or lack thereof -- to have children, and to begin contributing purposefully with all the gifts I showed up on this planet possessing. It's an exciting life.

The rest of your vision is the "who" you will be. The who you're preparing to be. The one you know you can be. And by "you", of course, I mean me. The utter magic of this whole thing, I think, is that I already am this person... I'm just figuring out how to conduct myself as her, instead of the bad habits and smokescreens that I live with day to day.

Same for you, you know. You probably already knew this. You already knew you are a rockstar mom or dad, a contributor to your community, a leader, a lover, an athlete. I didn't know these things concretely about myself, until recently. I expect I'll forget sometimes along the way.

Remind me who I am, will you? Remind yourself how amazing you are, too.

BIG love!

Notification

2007-10-01T11:19:00.000-04:00

I recently tried to fix the Numbers picture so that we all looked less stretched out horizontally, and now I can't get the damn thing to work at ALL. Every time I post the picture, it cuts Allie off completely. And a Nummas Pitcher just ain't right without us all. So, until I figure it out, the Nummas pic is off.

Love!

Multipurpose words.

2007-09-30T22:10:00.000-04:00

Todd was telling Matt about his menus ofthe last few weeks and some ideas for future parties. The following food items came up:

Beet Terrine
Savory Crisp

We decided they're also good drag names.

Colts win!

2007-09-30T19:59:00.000-04:00

I live in the home of the reigning Super Bowl Champions, and am only semi-sad to say, I don't really care all that much.

What's funny is I'm not a huge fan of the team, but I am a huge fan of the people involved. For example, I think Coach Dungy is an absolute rockstar. And, I am always incredibly thrilled when the Colts win because of the fans I love -- mostly my brother, Matt, and Wandaful. Anyway, I just checked Indystar.com, and the Colts won again. WOOT!

This week, that means Matt, one of my dearest friends EVER and a 10-year resident of Seattle, is on his way to my house. Because he just attended the game. Here, in Indianapolis. This trip, he was in this part of the country because his brother's wedding was last night. Usually, however, he'll just pop into town for a game or two every season. Yay, more Matt for me!

He's here, I'm out!

Happy Saturday, y'all.

2007-09-29T23:54:00.001-04:00

Hi. I'm Stacey and I'm really too old for bachelorette parties. My friend Joleigh is getting married on October 13, and last night we did the pre-wedding party of debauchery. Well, as debaucherous as a bunch of grown, responsible women get in public.

There were kick-ass hors d'oeuvre at our house -- Todd made them, of course! Then some delicious Greek food at Santorini, a favorite restaurant in a hip part of town, a really entertaining drag show at an excellent club in a different (also hip) neighborhood, then and only then, a stripper at the lovely home of another friend, Tina.

I only had to yell once (hee!), and it was because the stripper had gone down to g-string, and was lying on his stomach across the laps of three of the guests. The woman who had the best booty access wasn't touching the booty, or even looking at it! So I said, "Linda, grab that ass, that's what it's there for!" The whole thing was really funny. And, really, not sexy at all. The fully-clothed photographer guy (who was there experimenting with selling instant event photos) was far more intriguing to all of us girls than was the stripper.

It was a great, great time with some of the best friends I have. After the semi-naked dude and his photo dude left, we visited for a couple of hours, and this is when I had the most fun of the evening. It's also when most of the cocktails were consumed. I sobered up to drive home and STILL ended up with a hangover the next day.

When did I turn 38? I swear I thought I was still 22.

Just maybe.

2007-09-28T15:05:00.000-04:00

So, I recently read an article found here in Christianity Today. (It’s not current; I was just found it in a recent search for an essay by Anne Lamott.) The following quote from the article reminded me of something I’ve been ruminating on for a while:

The idea of everyone enjoying God for eternity appeals to me—as I'm sure it does to God—yet it's hard to reconcile with verses such as John 3:16 and Jesus' assertion that "no one comes to the Father except through me."

Here’s what I’ve been thinking about. This summer, I attended a lecture at the home of the former First Lady of Indiana, Mrs. Judy O’Bannon. A remarkable woman who has taken up the life of a servant was speaking at this gathering. Her name is Dr. Dwabha Prabhavati, and she has been called into a life of service to the poorest, least powerful people on the planet, “the untouchable” children of Rishikesh, India. She founded and runs Ramana’s Garden, a school for poor and orphaned children there in Rishikesh.

During her talk, she was luminous with love for her own life and for the lives of the people with whom she is living and working. Someone in the audience asked about religious education for the children. She replied that the children are exposed to all major world religions, and that they were free to believe as they wished, but that exposure to philosophies and religions is part of their regular education. At the time I wondered how the person who asked the question felt about her answer, as I do live in a part of the U.S. where Christianity, and that evangelical, is somewhat considered the standard.

After the talk, another guest and I were talking about the work Dr. Prabhavati was doing, and how inspired we were by her great love for people and her intentional life of service. I instinctively knew the other guest was a Christian, as am I, and said to her about Dr. Prabhavati’s work, “If children are being loved and fed, I assume Jesus is already there.”

Sometimes I don’t know what I think until I see what I say.

What if Jesus' assertion that "no one comes to the Father except through me” means “If you have experienced God, you have come through me, whether you know my name or not”?

Couldn’t that be true?

When the “least of these” are being loved and fed, I assert that Jesus is already there. When the brokenhearted are being comforted, I believe Jesus is already there. When judgment is reserved and love is shown instead, Jesus is already there. When joy explodes, when health is restored, when laughter is heard after a long cry, Jesus is already there.

Many are blessed to know him by name. Many more are blessed to know him by his presence.

Squeaked in under deadline.

2007-09-27T23:46:00.001-04:00

Today was the day o' exercise. I know this shocks and surprises, well, pretty much anyone who knows me. I was at fitness boot camp by 5:45 a.m., and at belly dancing lessons by 6:00 p.m. In the interim, I worked, ate, and tried not to fall asleep. Which is what I'm going to do now. The sleeping part, that is.

Turns out I wasn't any sharper or more brilliant today; however, I did post.

Miss Doxie has had a run of her funniest looks from childhood, and I'm thinking seriously of joining that trend. My hair alone will be good for several laughs.

See y'all tomorrow.

Love!

Stuff that's making us laugh right now.

2007-09-26T21:14:00.000-04:00

So, you know how one says, "about as dumb as a bag of hammers"? (See: Beth's former dog, Lucy, a.k.a. "Hammers.")

Well, just a few minutes ago, Todd says, "...that's about as useful as a pillow case full of raccoon turds"...and I snorted. Now we shall create more of these very, very sad little similies. Please add your own in the comments section.

That's as dumb as...

a bag of hammers
a pillow case full of raccoon turds
a box of hair (Yes, yes, I know. These are getting us warmed up.)
a blonde girl wearing a blonde wig

Here's where I tell you that this seemed like a better blog idea than it actually is. Hee! Thankfully, this whole blog experiment is mostly for my veryownpersonal entertainment. If you have some of these sayings you like to use, please share!

I'm joining Allie in her 30-day-writing-daily quest. Check back here Thursday for something entirely better, and far more intelligent. I definitely plan on being the shiniest knife in the crayon box tomorrow!

Quote from Sam and a fellow blogger.

2007-09-18T11:06:00.000-04:00

As Samuel Johnson said, "the prospect of imminent death concentrates the mind wonderfully;" and for all I know, my death may be mere heartbeats away. I'm young, but I've had friends who died younger. I'm healthy, but I've had friends who died healthier. The path from the womb leads to the tomb.

For those of us who know that death is but a sleep and an awakening, the fact that we are all dying is not cause for alarm. But it is cause for deliberate living.

Reprint

2007-09-17T12:15:00.001-04:00

I'm feeling this (previous) post so much today. I'm so RIDICULOUSLY grateful for forgiveness. And am grateful for new days and new opportunities to be what God means for me to be. Enjoy the reprint!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
When you hear the words "incredible body" what comes to mind?

When you hear "incredible body" do you think Angelina Jolie? Tyra Banks? A shirtless Johnny Depp? Maybe Orlando Bloom? Or do you just think of individual body parts like shapely legs, hard chest, shredded stomach muscles, vanilla ice cream scoop breasts, or something else? Living in this media-infused society, I'd not be surprised if every one of us thought of the incredible body as a taller-than-average, perfectly-complexioned, very wealthy, famous, slender, well-muscled, specimen. Nothing wrong with any of those attributes, either. I can even say without a grain of insincerity that I'd take some of those attributes for myself. Vast wealth can be appealing, after all.

I'd like to introduce you to another incredible body. Several of them, actually.

My friend Lauren's incredible body is one of amazing strength and endurance. She's not tall, nor thin, and the girl will flat out tell you she has Fred Flintstone feet. Lauren was born with Spina Bifida, a spinal injury that could easily have rendered her severely physically disabled. Instead, Lauren cared for her body, took it to the doctor, prayed for it, recruited her family and friends to pray for it, loved it, taught it Yoga, and spoke to it so that it would know how much it was loved, even though it wasn't always healthy. Guess what: Lauren has an incredible body. And it's not going to end up severely disabled, it's going to carry children, and it's going to last her a long time. Yep, incredible.

My friend Shannon has lived through several battles with cancer. The last time she fought with it (and won) the doctors told her to say goodbye to the kids and the family and prepare to meet Jesus. When nothing else was working, Shannon took her very ill body out of the hospital where the negative doctors were working. The doctors who spoke of her as though she were already dead. And then she made her own body well. She gave it the love and care it needed, complete with raw food, raw juice, and all the other stuff she will happily tell you about. She prayed, recruited her family and friends to pray, loved it, and spoke to it, as well. Her body got well. Healed itself! And produced another beautiful son after all that. Incredible body! I know you agree.

My Very Best Friend's incredible body has given birth to the five sweetest, most beautiful, most wonderful children on this planet. I haven't seen her naked in a while, but I'm betting she's not quite as thrilled with her physical self as she was when we were 19. Again, utterly not my point. Her body is strong, and healthy, and is the actual location where the souls of her children met their own physical bodies. That's not a small miracle. Indeed, incredible.

What would my little essay be without mentioning myownself? (Again, not famous for humility, me.) In the last couple of years I've learned some great stuff about me, one of those being that I, too, have an incredible body. I've never been fatter, or cuter, in my life. I have gorgeous skin -- everywhere, the best hair sculpture north of the Mason-Dixon Line, dark chocolate eyes, and looooooooong eyelashes. I also have amazing tits. Again, oh-so not my point. The point is, everything works. Everything is healthy. Everything is even proportionate! I'm so incredibly grateful for my fuctioning, healthy, wonderful body that knows how to walk, wake, sleep, and, thank God, breathe. Incredible; even the very basics are nothing less than an absolute miracle.

When I was a child I read a book that someone had given to my father when he was a child. It had lots of short stories inside, one of which has always been with me. The daughter in the story was frequently embarrassed by the odd-looking arms and hands of her mother. She wanted her mother to hide her hands and arms from her little friends. The mother was careful to protect the child from embarrassment. However, the story eventually revealed that the mother's arms were terribly scarred from burns she sustained while saving the daughter from a house fire when she was a baby. A scarred, incredible body.

You probably already know there's another scarred, incredible body that saved us from fire, too.

The incredible body is temporarily connected to the soul, which makes even the broken, the trapped, the thoroughly undone body intensely beautiful. The soul is what makes us indispensable to eternity and to one another. I know you knew that.

Until we arrive in the eternity provided by the scarred body of God, we all have somewhere incredible to live.

Who knew Ben Harper was a philosopher?

2007-09-12T14:34:00.001-04:00

"Folks don't change, they just reveal." - Ben Harper

Quote of the Day

2007-09-11T15:47:00.001-04:00

A good friend of mine, who did me the honor of letting me "talk her through" some things, said the following to me, "What are you, some sort of fucking life coach?"

(For those of you wondering, I answered, "Yes.")

More later, but have a laugh on me for now!

2007-09-10T20:08:00.003-04:00

Truth

2007-08-06T14:09:00.001-04:00

Remembering that I'll be dead soon is the most important tool I've ever encountered to help me make the big choices in life.

~Steve Jobs

Today's Inspiration

2007-08-06T10:49:00.000-04:00

"Don't ask yourself what the world needs. Ask yourself what makes you come alive and then go and do that. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive."

~Dr. Howard Thurman

I love my life.

2007-08-05T00:31:00.000-04:00

If for no other reason than that people love me enough to make me tell the truth. Thank GOD for that. I love you, Tina! And, I'll see you at the Tin-Man Triathlon in Hawaii in the summer of 2009.

My VBF and My Nephew: Famous and CUTE!

2007-07-27T09:43:00.001-04:00

Beth and Jude were published in this article in the Fort Wayne Journal Gazette. The rest of the family is in the article, too! I could not love these people more if I tried.

Witness to Miracles

2007-07-18T16:44:00.000-04:00

It's been so long since my heart has walked around in the world in an utter fit of gratitude. But that's what I have right now. I smile a lot. I laugh more. I drive down the highway with tears streaming down my face, beautiful truths rushing toward me -- things I know truly are miracles.

Seriously, how likely is it that I'm blessed to have so many friends who are authentic with me and themselves? And new people come in the door all the time; amazing ones.

Who ever heard of having a girlfriend (one that you made when you were both in your thirties) who allows you to mother her, sister her, kick her ass, and tell her the absolute truth. I mean that I say, "Girl, this is where you tell the truth about this, or I WILL. Go." And then she does. Who ever heard of having ONE friend like that? And I have, what, seven? My cup runneth over. Like crazycakes.

Who ever heard of having a girlfriend like that for 25 years? I have. And a male friend like that, too? I even have one of those!

Who ever heard of having a mentor that can read you like she was actually IN your head? One who knows what you need, and is so in tune with you and with God, *and* is so generous, that she offers exactly what you need? And you didn't even know what it was you needed until she said it aloud? Um, miracle anyone?

Who ever heard of, after years of sleeping with the phone by my head (just in case), sleeping soundly and dreaming sweetly because your brother is sober and in love with God? The twenty months of peace in our family are worth the desperation of the 10 years before them.

Who ever heard of finding friends you thought you lost, discovering you have a heart you weren't sure could be big enough, exercising the courage to create, and smashing through the bad habits to discover who I really am? Feels like a miracle to me.

Who ever heard of having a new chance to move toward the self God created me to be every single day? It's a huge life. I'm grateful.

Scattergories Meme

2007-07-15T22:36:00.000-04:00

SCATTERGORIES...it's harder than it looks!

Rules: Use the 1st letter of your name to answer each of the following...They MUST be real places, names, things...NOTHING made up! If you can't think of anything, skip it. Try to use different answers if the person before you had the same 1st initial. You CAN'T use your name for the boy/girl name question. Once you're done, forward on to friends and back to the person who sent it to you. Now go! Or, you know, post.

1. Your Name: Stacey
2. Famous singer/band: Sting
3. 4 letter word: Sing
4. Street name: Speedway Drive
5. Gifts/presents: Silver
6. Vehicle: Saturn VUE
7. Items on a menu: Spinach dip
8. Boy Name: Stephan
9. Girl Name: Sally
10. Movie Title: Shawshank Redemption
11. Drink: Singapore Sling (2 pts!)
12. Occupation: Student
13. Flower: Sweet William
14. Celebrity: Sharon Stone (Score 2 points for first and last name!)
15. Magazine: Saveur (we actually get this one.)
16. US City: Spartanburg, South Carolina (2 pts!)
17. Reason for Being Late for Work: Sick
18. Something U Throw Away: Scraps
19. Things You Shout: Shut it!
20. Cartoon Character: Seymour Skinner (2 pts!)

One of those quiz thingies.

2007-06-27T10:12:00.001-04:00

Your Aura is Violet

Idealistic and thoughtful, you have the mind and ideas to change the world.
And you have the charisma of a great leader, even if you don't always use it!

The purpose of your life: saying truths that other people dare not say

Famous purples include: Mahatma Gandhi, Martin Luther King, Jr., Susan B. Anthony

Careers for you to try: Political Activist, Inventor, Life Coach

What Color Is Your Aura?

Yep, we've seen this before, BUT...

2007-06-26T15:41:00.000-04:00

So lovely. And so empowering when opened up at the right moment.

Last Tears
-E. Sailers-

These are the last tears I'm gonna cry for you
My cryin's through I'm moving on
I don't regret and won't forget
A single thing that we went through
But there are the last tears I'm gonna cry for you

You take things so much easier than I do
And you could live your life without me if you had to
And you believe that in the end it all works out right
And I might if not for you
And if you ask one which one lives just alone for love
I do

There was a time when all signs pointed to the warm south
The planets all lined up and built a new house
And everything we talked about felt like a prophecy
And when you looked at me they all came true
And if you asked which one wants to go the distance
I do

I'm gonna rack my mind one last time until I cannot think
I'm gonna dip into your memory and take a good stiff drink
And when I'm drunk on the last drop of sadness about how we went wrong
I'm gonna play this song
Make some coffee black and strong
Give thanks for healing time
And finally make up my mind

These are the last tears I'm gonna cry for you
My cryin's through I'm moving on
I don't regret and won't forget
A single thing that we went through
But there are the last tears I'm gonna cry for you.

It was SO time for a meme.

2007-06-22T12:41:00.000-04:00

[1] What was the highlight of your week?
My new job.

[2] Whose car were you in last?
Mine.

[3] When is the next time you will kiss someone?
Whenever I see Terri this afternoon.

[4]What color shirt are you wearing?
Black.

[5] How long is your hair?
Short and cute.

[6] When was the last time you read the bible?
This week.

[7] Last movie you watched?
Um. I forget.

[8] Last thing you ate?
Sausage from Hardee’s.

[9] Last thing you drank?
Coffee.

[10] Where did you sleep last night?
My bed.

[11] Are you happy right now?
Hell yes!

[12] What did you say last?
“So, what is that?”

[13] Where is your phone?
On my desk.

[14] What color are your eyes?
Chocolate brown.

[15] Who did you visit last?
Todd.

[16] When was the last time you had your heart broken?
Every day my heart is open it is both broken and healed.

[17] Who/what do you hate currently?
No one.

18] What are you listening to?
Conversations.

[19] If you could have one thing right now what would it be?
Two weeks at the beach with Beth, Tina, and The Numbers.

[20] What is your favorite scent?
Clean man.

[21] Who makes you happiest right now?
Me.

[22] What were you doing at midnight last night?
ZZZzzzzz.

[23] Are you left-handed?
Naw.

[24] Spell your name without vowels:
stc(and sometimes)y

[25] What's for dinner tonight?
Toast.

[26] What is the last alcoholic beverage you had?
Italian martini. It was so good I wanted eight more. I resisted.

[27] When Is Your Birthday?
August 2.

[28] Last time you went swimming in a pool?
When I went to see the folks. May 13th or so.

[29] Where was the last place you went shopping?
O’Mailia

[30] How do you feel about your hair right now?
It’s extrasexy, but CANNOT WAIT until Hottie the Hairbanger gets hold of it!

[31] Do you have any expensive jewelry?
Yes.

[32] AIM or MSN?
Neither.

[33] Where does most of your family live?
Indiana, Florida, California.

[34] Are you an only child or do you have siblings?
Brother. (And sisters I chose.)

[35] Would you consider yourself to be spoiled?
Uh huh.

[36] What was the first thing you thought when waking up?
Today? “Wow! THAT was a good night’s sleep.”

[37] Do you drink beer?
Indeed.

[38] Myspace or Facebook?
Facebook.

[39] Do you have T-Mobile?
No.

[40] What is/was your favorite subject in school?
English.

[41] What are you doing?
Having lunch at my desk and doing this.

[42] Do you have any talents?
Dur!

[43] Have you ever been IN a wedding?
Yep.

[44] Do you have any children?
Not that I’m aware of.

[45] Did you take a nap today?
Not yet!

[46] Ever met anyone famous before?
Yes.

[47] Do you want to be famous one day?
Nope. I want to be admired.

[48] Favorite Actor(s)?
Eh, don’t care.

[49] Could you handle being in the military?
If I had to, yes.

[50] Do you believe in Karma?
Yep.

[51] Last time you went to the gym or worked out?
Wednesday.

[52] How many pairs of shoes do you own?
Probably 25 or so.

[53] Last place you drove your car to?
Work.

[54] Ever been to Las Vegas?
Yes.

[55] Have you ever lived in a two story?
Yes.

[56] Have you ever been gambling?
Yes.

[57] When is the last time you updated your blog?
Yesterday.

[58] Have you been to New York City?
Nope, but I totally will.

[59] Ever been to Disneyland/world?
Both.

[60] Do you have a favorite cartoon character?
I like Bugs.

[61] Last thing you cooked?
Toast.

[62] How’s the weather?
Rainy and cool.

[63] Do you e-mail?
Yes. Honestly, how do you think most people got this idiot survey, anyway?

[64] Last time you were sick?
Girly cramps on Wed. EW!

[65] Do you think anyone will repost this?
Prolly.

Insights into Personal Effectiveness

2007-06-21T14:22:00.001-04:00

Ever hear of this training class? It's one of those deals where people are categorized -- dependent upon how they answer a series of questions -- into four groups. All the categories are similar, even if the labels are different. There are DISC categories, Insights categories, and probably some other ones, too.

The groups are generally

detail-oriented, analytical people (C or Blue)
driver-director-accomplishment people (D or Red)
steady-nurturing-coaching people, and (S or Green)
influencer-inspirer (I or Yellow).

So, I personally describe these as, in order as above:

The ones who love predictability and small squares. And making love to coaxial cable.
My mom.
The ones who love coaching and caring.
The ones who are crazypants.

Um, one guess which color I am!

You might guess that there are natural points of resistance between those who operate themselves as say, a Director, and those who are Analytical. The Director wants it done now, and the Analytical wants it done right. With all the details. And the results from 17 tests. And footnotes.

Also, you just can't imagine how much fun it is trying to be a social, talkative, Yellow and work in an analytical job. (Let's just say that wasn't one of my better choices.) Though, I did get some great material out if it. For example, after a long meeting with The Detail People I once said, "He's blue to the third power."

Someone else said to me one day, "Pull the blue hat clear down over your ears, honey."

I don't know that I had an actual point for this one, but I do know that I'm super thankful for the new job. The one with a lot more yellow.

The Unity of God and the Children

2007-05-22T10:03:00.000-04:00

As conveyed by the wise and wonderful Shannon Rose.

I am whole, perfect, strong, powerful, loving, harmonious and happy!
I am the power,
I am the intelligence,
I am the love,
I am the joy.
The earth turns on it's orbit for ME.
The oceans ebb and flow for ME.
The birds sing for ME.
The sun rises and it sets for ME.
The stars come out for ME.
Every beautiful thing I see, every wonderous thing I experience, is all there for ME.
None of it can exist without ME.
I am one with the Universe.
I am the heir to the kingdom.
I am the perfection of Life.

Good times.

2007-05-02T16:17:00.000-04:00

Dande said this once about the maintaining of what might appear to be high maintenance women. It's still true, of course.

I like to think of it less as "demanding utter worship and absolute devotion," and more as "expecting reasonable appreciation for my complete and undeniable fabulosity."

*SO* much myself.