Not really a light topic, huh? Nope, but really weighing heavily on me. Sometimes, if I just write it, I release it to the Creator, and come to peace about whatever it is that weighs me down.
Today, I am putting my vote in for generosity and patience. Not that I'm fantastic at either; I'm just voting for both. Truly, truly, not fantastic at either, but decent at both. I decided a long time ago that I am generous, so, in every situation, in every day, when I come to a choice-point, I choose generous, as it reflects who I am. Naturally, being human, I sometimes rush through choices unconsciously and pick the small, greedy thing.
And, God knows, I'm not praying for patience, 'cause you get the lessons that teach patience. Arghhhh! Same thing here: I decided a while ago that I am patient (a natural outcome of generosity, as I take it to mean generous with time.) Same thing here, too -- I forget. I rush. I slay myself unconscious. I ignore the tug of the Spirit and whip through choice-points like an impatient, selfish jackass.
But, I find that these are things that demonstrate the John 13:15 thing. (By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.) And, believing that Jesus is both God and a way-shower, I choose this.
I say all that to say this:
When someone isn't loving toward me, when someone or something is against me, and there is no generosity coming from the other party, why am I so angry and so demanding that I be loved and afforded generosity right now?
I ask, "Stacey, how long did you hate yourself before you afforded love and generosity to yourself? How many years did you judge yourself unworthy, inferior, unlovable, and hopelessly sinful before the dawn? And who are you to demand that everyone figure out we're all lovable and all loved this instant?"
My job is to love, afford generosity, and extend patience. Not to demand that everyone "get it" this instant.
Tuesday, May 19
Some brief thoughts on our progress as humans on the planet
Monday, May 18
More Quotes
"Feelings aren't necessarily an indication of victory."
"The ugliness of others does not require us to follow suit."
"You're on the g**d*** Batphone, aren't you?"
Friday, May 8
Answer, rinse, repeat.
It's a meme that I'm doing 'cause the Numb3rs did it...
WRITE EXACTLY WHAT'S ON YOUR MIND.
1. Your ex and You = are fine.
2. I am listening to = Oprah interview Elisabeth Edwards.
3. Maybe I should = get my poop in a group.
4. I love = my people.
5. My best friend(s) = phenomenal and indispensable!
6. I don't understand = so, so many things.
7. I have lost my respect for = him
8. I last ate = chicken tikka masala
9. The meaning of my display name is = what my cute niece named me
10. God = IS.
11. Someday = we'll be together (just song lyrics, nothing more).
12. I will always be = A KICK ASS WOMAN.
13. Love seems = lovely
14. I never ever want to lose = my friends
15. My LiveJournal is = only there so i can comment on other livejournal pages
17. I get annoyed = not NEARLY as often as I used to.
18. Parties = WHEE party!
20. Simple kisses = are nice.
21. Today I = helped people get a large amount of work done.
22. I wish = I had known then what I know now.
-----------------------------------------------------------
NOW
01. is your hair wet? nope
02. is your cell phone right by you? yes
03. do you miss someone? Really, really yes
04. are you wearing chapstick? no
05. are you tired? no
06. are you wearing pajamas? pj pants and a tee
08. are you mad? YES, on Lo's behalf.
09. are you upset? YES AGAIN, on Lo's behalf.
------------------------------------------------------------
HAVE YOU
01. recently done anything you regret? recently, no.
02. ever lied? yes
03. ever put gum underneath a desk? no
04. ever kicked someone? yes
05. ever tripped over your own feet? yes. up stairs.
TODAY HAVE YOU:
01. have you cursed? yeah.
02. have you gotten mad at someone? yep.
-RANDOM-
Q: is there a person who is on your mind right NOW? yes
Q: do you have any siblings? yes
Q: do you want children? no
Q: do you smile often? YES
Q: do you untie your shoes every time you take them off? um, no.
Q: do you like your handwriting? Yes
Q: are your toenails painted? they are hotttt, red.
Q: are you a friendly person? yes.
Q: whose bed other than yours do you sleep in? Allie's, Beth's guest room, etc.
Q: what color shirt are you wearing? white with "Campy Vampy Canoe Queen Weekend 2002" on it.
Q: what were you doing at 7pm yesterday? eating dinner, i think.
Q: I can't wait until: I see the Numb3rs/Beth&family/Family
LAST TIME YOU ______
last time you prank called someone? Hell, do not remember.
last time you skipped school/class? undergrad
last time you called your best friend? Last night.
last time you tried to tell someone how you feel? Not sure.
last time you had someone call? couple of hours ago
last time you twisted your ankle? A few years.
last time you drove? Couple hours ago.
last time you cried? Couple weeks, maybe?
last time you pushed someone? can't remember
last time you laughed? Maybe an hour ago.
last time you rented a dvd? couple weeks ago.
last time you worked? Today.
Comments Comments Comments
I have lots of regular haunts in the Internets. I tend to love the content; however, there is a problem with my favorite sites: the comments people leave after the article/video/picture. Here are a few of the sites where I simply canNOT read any of the comments. Oh, sure, I am actually physically *able* do it, but doing it makes my head explode.
http://stuffwhitepeoplelike.com/
- Brilliantly funny and nearly 100% true, even.
- Worst.commenters.ever. These people are quite below average in cleverness, couth, and, in addition, are mean to one another.
- Fantastic magazine! Lots of interesting literary and social news and (mostly) commentary.
- Commenters are mostly laboring under the illusion that they're morally supeirior to everyone else.
- These commenters are the ones who taught me an important lesson: those on the Outer Left have their heads as far up their asses as those on the Far Right.
- Excellent newspaper of my veryown hometown.
- These commenters are frequently cartoons of themselves.
- Many, many, many nasty judgemental comments from people calling themselves Bible-Believing Christians. (That's what actually made me stop reading the comments at indystar.)
- Is there more legal fun available in the wee hours of the morning when I should be sober and asleep? No. No, there isn't.
- These commenters, and I mean the ones whose native language is English, have no earthly idea how to behave in public. Who is this stupid in a public forum? Youtube commenters!
- Wow, this is a helpful site. If you haven't sold a car, found a rental, or bought a refrigerator from Craigslist, you're missing out.
- All I can say about this: "rant and rave" under "personals" is a sign of the end times. Srsly.
Wednesday, May 6
Quotable
Here are some recent quotes that I’ve collected. Hope you enjoy them, too!
About family dinners: “It’s Easter. We’re serving ham and angst.”
About doing something kinda stupid: “You’ll have to excuse me. I’m one-quarter moron, on my mother’s side.”
About no-necked dudes: “If his own neck deserts him, we have a problem.”
Regarding dudes named Steve: “Steve’s are dicey. They can go either way.”
Regarding places that straight men like to be: “… and occasionally, that warm, soft place may have to be Florida.”
Saturday, January 24
Hey, look! I never got back in the habit.
However, I'm still planning to do that. To tide you over, here's a note I posted on facebook. I'm posting it here, in case you haven't seen it. Stay tuned for a post tomorrow -- it's about halfway done right now.
Until then:
I believe people calling themselves followers of Christ might want to rally around the central principal of the religion. Love is all there is that matters. Being right doesn't matter if you have no love. More's the tragedy, we actually ARE love, and we cast it out of ourselves. "If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing." I'm not simply sad, or tired, or unloved, or empty. I'm nothing.
I believe in graciousness: individual, and collective. I'm inexplicably thankful for the people who extend graciousness to me each day. When I do something that causes major inconvenience at work, usually, someone understands that we're all human and we work out the problem. I believe that the day the new president takes office is not a good day to make snide comments about his character or his potential ability to execute. It seems like a good day to be thankful. Or to make moving arrangements: France will probably take you.*
I believe I'm both fantastically, amazingly together and an utter damn mess. As an angel of a friend once said, "I'm perfect, flawed, and contradictory." I've handled some stuff. I've done some good stuff. I am a judgement machine most of the time. I know some stuff. I don't know way, way more stuff. I am, however, open.
Wednesday, November 26
To get back in the habit
...of blogging! I thought I'd do this lovely meme. Wanna hear it? Here it go:
1. WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE?
Not that I'm aware of.
2. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED?
November 4th.
3. Do you like your handwriting
Yep.
4 . WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE LUNCH MEAT?
Sopresetta
5. DO YOU HAVE KIDS?
Nope. Just dogs.
6. IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON, WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU?
Oh my damn, yes!
7. DO YOU USE SARCASM A LOT?
Is the bear a Catholic?
8. DO YOU STILL HAVE YOUR TONSILS?
Yep.
9. WOULD YOU BUNGEE JUMP?
Um, no. I really doubt it.
10. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE CEREAL?
Frosted Flakes with half and half. But I don’t eat it anymore, either. 'Cause, hi, I don't need any MORE calories, esp. first thing in the morning!
11. DO YOU UNTIE YOUR SHOES WHEN YOU TAKE THEM OFF?
Not usually.
12. DO YOU THINK YOU ARE STRONG?
Yes, I do.
13. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE ICE CREAM?
Very good vanilla or coffee.
14. WHAT’S THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE?
If they'll look at me in the eye.
15. RED OR PINK?
Red.
16. WHAT IS THE LEAST FAVORITE THING ABOUT YOURSELF?
That I keep refusing to exercise discipline.
17. WHO DO YOU MISS THE MOST
My fam, my numb3rs, my vbf.
18. DO YOU WANT EVERYONE TO SEND THIS BACK TO YOU?
Nah. I'm flexible.
19. WHAT COLOR PANTS AND SHOES ARE YOU WEARING?
Jeans, none.
20. WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU ATE?
A taste of yeast roll.
21. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW
Toddykins telling me stories of his day.
22. IF YOU WERE A CRAYON, WHAT COLOR WOULD YOU BE?
Silver.
23. FAVORITE SMELLS?
Clean sheets and clean man!
24. WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE?
Toddykins.
25. DO YOU LIKE THE PERSON WHO SENT THIS?
Lurve.
26. FAVORITE SPORTS TO WATCH?
College basketball.
27. HAIR COLOR ?
Brown, blond, etc.
28. EYE COLOR?
Brown.
29. Do you wear contacts
Yes.
30. FAVORITE FOODS?
Carbohydrates?
31. SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDINGS?
Happy endings.
32. LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED?
Smiley Face (Please, please, do not waste your time.)
33. WHAT COLOR SHIRT ARE YOU WEARING?
Black. But just until there's something darker.
34. SUMMER OR WINTER?
Summer all the way!!!!
35. HUGS OR KISSES?
Yes, definitely!
36. FAVORITE DESSERT?
Shagbark hickory magic cookie from The Goose.
37. MOST LIKELY TO RESPOND?
Not sure.
38. LEAST LIKELY TO RESPOND
Also not sure.
39. What book are you reading now?
Twilight
40. WHAT IS ON YOUR MOUSE PAD?
Nothing.
41. WHAT DID YOU WATCH ON T.V.. LAST NIGHT?
Fringe
42. FAVORITE SOUND?
Hysterical laughter, especially groups of people -- especially the Numb3rs or my niece and nephews.
43. ROLLING STONES OR BEATLES?
Depends on the day.
44. What is the farthest you have been from home?
Portugal... but I was sort of "home" then, too.
45. Any new news in your life?
I'm going to go be a minister. Like, for a living.
46. WHERE WERE YOU BORN?
Patuxent River, Maryland
47. WHOSE ANSWERS ARE YOU LOOKING FORWARD TO GETTING BACK?
Anyone who answers!
48. WHAT TIME IS IT NOW?
7:26 p.m.
