My dadness took this test, and so did I. Here are my results. To quote That Todd, "You liberal conservative, you." You'll see that I missed "Centrist" by about half an inch. Max.
| You are a Social Liberal (70% permissive) and an... Economic Liberal (35% permissive) You are best described as a:
Link: The Politics Test on Ok Cupid Also: The OkCupid Dating Persona Test |
I've recently consumed the following fabulous items, made for me by That Todd, who is REALLY grand at the chef-ing. OHmydamn. And, yes. I am bragging.
The fun of the weekend also contained a medium-to-small home improvement project, several movies, plenty of cocktails, a nap or two thrown in for good measure, lots and lots of chatting (one of my favorite all-time things), and much laughter. And just how do you top that? YOU DON'T!!!
Thank you for such a delicious long weekend, my sweet friend.
10 years ago I was…
Living in Knoxville, TN in a van down by the river. SWEAR it's true. OK, it was a trailer, but it was horrifying, and it was, in fact, down by the river. The French Broad River. No shit. And, it was on a Bible college campus. I was married to my practice husband, and I was in a constant state of asthmatic stress. I worked at a nuclear power plant in Oak Ridge, TN. That's why my boobs glow in the dark now.
5 years ago I was…
Married one year and 5 months to the Grimace. He had quit his job about 10 weeks prior, and was still apparently attached to the sofa with some sort of mystical adhesive, and saying charming things to me, his worker-bee, such as, "I'm tired of your attitude," and "If we weren't married, this would be over." (I know! I know.)
1 year ago I was…
Celebrating my divorce from the Grimace. I won't be disclosing details of the celebration here.
Yesterday I was…
Working, meeting with my boss for a 1:1 discussion of my job performance (OH how I hate those meetings,) cleaning a house in Avon for $$, shopping for conditioner 'cause I have scary-doll-hair, and getting excited about my trip to see That Todd this weekend.
5 snacks I enjoy the most:
5 songs I know all the words to:
5 things I would do with a billion dollars:
5 places ideal for running away to:
5 items you’ll never see me wear:
5 best TV shows:
5 biggest joys in life:
5 favorite toys:
I give you my favorite people. My folks are here in town, and they wanted to see the VBF and Hubby and Children. So, Monday, we went and visited for the day. I finally have the correct technology to share some pictures with you, so here you go:
My niece Belle (real name, Chloe) and nephew Jake. They are 9 and 12, respectively. Chloe is so much fun she makes me want kids of my own. (Uh, maybe.) She reads me Junie B. Jones stories! And Jacob is the Running Man -- 200 miles this summer! Personally, I think that's the reason God invented cars, but Jake's impressive.
My nephew Jude. This is the child who is so cute I want to eat him. He's also Mr. Snuggly and lovey and I just want to sneak him home every time I see him.
My nephew Si. Jude's twin. And he looks eggzackly like his daddy did at that age. Which is cool, 'cause it means he'll grow up to be just as cute as my VBF's hubby. And, he's got the cutest brown eyes EVER. (VBF will probably smack me for using a foody-face picture, but isn't it so cute?!)
OK, then, am I just the luckiest Aunt Tasty or what?!?!?!
Last night when Tina and I were out we saw a bumper sticker that said, "Try Jesus". I asked her, "What, if you don't like him, you send him back?"
Tina said, "No, Try Jesus: He's great on toast!"
I nearly drove off the road laughing.
And, scene.
With apologies to my father, I bring you this report of a day in my entertaining life.
Normally, I wouldn't give my former spouse any more than a passing thought this far out from the throwing-out-of-myself, but this is just TOO GOOD to pass up. This morning, I received the following email, verbatim, from Grimace (who is engaged to be married):
"boy oh boy did i have a dream last night. If it was half as good for you as it was me. you would still be quaking in your panties. lol Your pretty good in the sack even when your not here. lol anyway just thought i would share, and possibly give you a chuckle. talk to you later. Muah Wayne"
First, OH MY GAWD! What in the ever-loving FUCK is he thinking???
Second, the following replies were offered by two of my favorite women. The first one listed is from Lola.
1) he needs to know that if you are starring in his dreams he now has to pay you royalties. you are no longer required by law to remain in his spank bank without proper compensation. tell him to tally up the cost of the dinner (mcdonald's does NOT count) and movie that would be appropriate predecessors to him getting laid that well and mail the check out today.
2) if he refuses to send the check remind him that you broke his teeny weenie once and you can do it again.
3) after the check clears tell him that he spelled "you're" wrong. twice.
snort.
loving you,
Lo
Do you LOVE this girl, or WHAT????
The second one is offered by my dear Allie.
Dear Grimace,
what a dream i had. i woke up screaming and still shaking some. i dreamed that i actually had to let that wee flaccid one-pumper near me again. but then i woke up - and looked a the stud beside me who gently began complimenting me and saying the most wonderful things and i realized -- i am the luckiest girl in all the world.
thanks for the reminder,
love,
stacey
Can you STAND the creativity?!?!? I love these women!!!!
Then, there's HerrMatt. Whom we adore.
He said,
my first response was: YEAH, in YOUR DREAMS!
my second response was: awww, he is scared and does not how to communicate directly so he mentions this as a way to let you know he thinks about you.
my third response was: heaving into the toilet
my forth response was: how sad
my fifth response was: a happy, peaceful place with this unplanned but celebrated piece of knowledge
A.dore him.
My response to Matt went something as follows:
Most of my personalities went with "heave into the toilet", but the healthiest of my personalities went with "a happy, peaceful place with this unplanned but celebrated piece of knowledge".
WOOT!!! This whole thing reminds me of another story that can now be told! Stay tuned for more of the Grimace Files.
Happy weekend. That's all I got for today. More after I visit my VBF and family tomorrow!
Spray-on bacon: no calories, no crunch.
[Story below found here.]
Now that everything from a tan to pantyhose comes in spray form, it's little wonder someone has found a way to put liquid pork in a can. Well, almost. Smoked bacon, as well as chocolate fudge, strawberry shortcake, ranch and banana split are among the flavours featured in a new line of spritz-on food toppings. The "flavour sprays" are designed to simulate the taste of dieters' favourite foods while eliminating the guilt of eating them - each contains no fat, calories, carbohydrates or cholesterol.
"(Spray-on) birthday cake is going to be a home run," predicts Sean Pomper, operations director for Flavor Spray Diet. "You actually taste the vanilla cake with the chocolate filling inside and the sprinkles and the cream on top."
The 18 unlikely sprays are the brainchild of celebrity chef David Burke, a New York culinarian noted for his research and new product development. New York Post food critic Cynthia Kilian wrote that the spray-on bacon's "flavour charade (works) surprisingly well on scrambled eggs." The hot and sour spray didn't fare as well, causing a "potent sting of heat accompanied by a musty tang." Root beer float was dubbed "a clear winner."
Each can contains a liquid extract made up of water, salts, emulsifiers and natural and artificial flavours, with Splenda used as a sweetener in the "dessert" sprays. A 60 mL supply will cost Canadians about $7, plus shipping, and is said to last six months (flavorspraydiet.com).
Pomper recently shipped two cases of product to a Maryland hospital that's now using Burke's dessert sprays on patients with dysphagia, a condition characterized by difficulties swallowing. "The patients are loving it," Pomper reports. "They're on a feeding tube but they're actually getting a hit of strawberry shortcake, marshmallow, chocolate, root beer ... tastes they haven't had in their mouths for years."
Krystyna Sieciechowicz, a University of Toronto food anthropologist, likens the sprays to a harbinger of virtual food. "When we're staring to extract all these ingredients, how far are we from saying we'll have a pill and we'll have a spray that gives you a whiff of onions?" she muses. "It may be 100 or 200 years off, but I think that's what we're preparing ourselves for - food that's a mere remembrance of what the original was."
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Celebrity chef David Burke is obviously on some kind of drug. And not something good, like Vicodin. This is just the sort of thing that is wrong with American culture. I appreciate the applications for dysphagia, but COME ON. Virtual Food? This is obviously an extrapolation of what is truly wrong with the concept of fat free cake. Diet cake is *clearly* an abomination against God and Humankind. Cake should be made with whole eggs, butter, cream, and, preferably, either chocolate or almonds. Or both. Applesauce substituting for butter just does not make it, people.
Yes, obesity is a problem. You already know it's a problem I'm handling at this time (7 pounds down, 4 bajillion more to go!) But DIET CAKE is not going to make the problem go away. When it comes down to the essence of the thing, I think obesity, and therefore, Diet Cake, are results of the same issue. The issue being that of fearful living.
If you're living with absolute abandon, you'll eat eggs, sugar, chocolate, and heavy cream. Oh, and lots of dark chocolate! But, if you're only eating with abandon, (and by "you" I mean "me") and not LIVING with abandon, you'll become fat. If you can also MOVE, write, sing, work, talk, travel, love, adventure, and MOVE SOME MORE with abandon, you can eat with abandon and not become fat.
My point being, DON'T FALL FOR THE DIET CAKE!!! It's a total sham. So are the spray-on foods. They're a ploy to get you to both eat and live fearfully. Instead, eat the real cake and learn to love hiking, kayaking, the high you can get from sweating, swimming, or athletic sex. Do something else you love more often, even if it's not exercise: write, bead, walk, draw, paint, sing, or sculpt.
Do it all passionately. Have your cake and eat it, too. Otherwise, what good is the cake?
As much as I adore the instant satisfaction of words online, the email, and the ever-effusive blogging habit, there is truly, truly nothing better than words on paper. Words on paper that arrive in my mailbox are my favorite words of all. Today, two things arrived in my mailbox, both of which made me very happy.
First, I got pictures of my nephews! I'm going to get permission to post their pictures here, because there is absolutely no way I could explain to you how incredibly beautiful they are! I've looked at the pictures at least 10 times since I opened the envelope three hours ago. They're gorgeous, and they are going to grow up with the best parents and siblings ever -- it's just one of those things that can make me smile for a week. And it will. The note from their Mommy, my VBF, was equally as precious. It makes me giddy when Beth calls me Aunt Tasty -- I love that I get to stand in and be her kids' aunt on her side of the family. (They have other aunties on their dad's side, as well.)
The other thing I got in the mail was a very short hand-written note that was also signed "Love". When you adore someone, getting something they've had in their hands is a simple and delicious little thrill. (Why do you think the Numb3rs SQUEAL with delight when we get stuff in the mail from one another??) Something else to make me smile. Sappy? I don't believe so. Possibly Romantic with the capital "R"; you know, the appreciation for small, personal gestures that can make a day sweet.
Lovely reminders to send some hand-written notes tomorrow. Thank you for the long-distance hugs, my friends!
