Monday, July 24

Giant Buckets of Poo

Some things are meant to be. Divorce is not one of those things. Personally, I can recommend not having one, since I've had TWO. Sometimes, they are

For those of you suffering the pain of this massive crap-cake, know that I adore you and that it is totally surmountable. Also for those of you who are suffering, know that you WILL STOP SUFFERING sooner than you think. The creator is completely able to heal up your heart and send you out to do beautiful things.

Know that you are loved from every corner of the universe and that giant buckets of crap will not be your constant companion.

Wednesday, July 12

Fun With Blogthings

You Are 50% Boyish and 50% Girlish

You are pretty evenly split down the middle - a total eunuch.
Okay, kidding about the eunuch part. But you do get along with both sexes.
You reject traditional gender roles. However, you don't actively fight them.
You're just you. You don't try to be what people expect you to be.

Monday, July 10

New Band

Many people at my work are confused as to the eternal importance of programming. They think it matters. They all play in a band called "Laboring Under Unfortunate Illusions" and this is their logo:

Friday, July 7

Stolen from Others

The words in this post came from this link is on Dooce's front page. They made me laugh more than anything I personally wrote this morning, so, we'll just paste them here, shall we? Good idea.

compiled by Tom Elia

I've always been fascinated by groups of five people who try to guess what 100 randomly selected people have said for a chance to win $10,000, which they'll split between themselves before splitting it again with the government. Which will leave each of them with about $32.87 for their troubles.

I've also been fascinated by how one of those five people will crack under the pressure and cost everyone else on their team a chance to walk away with $32.87.

As a result, I've polled 100 people to find the best "worst" answers ever given on Family Feud. The top 27 answers are on the board.

Question: Name a former President that most people would say is honest.
#1 Answer: Lincoln
Worst Answers: Nixon

Question: Besides San Francisco, name a city that begins with the word San.
#1 Answer: San Diego
Worst Answer: Seattle

Question: Name a slang term used for important people.
#1 Answer: V.I.P.
Worst Answer: Buddy

Question: Name something packrats have a hard time throwing out.
#1 Answer: Photos
Worst Answer: Corn

Question: Name something that might annoy a gardener.
#1 Answer: Bugs
Worst Answer: Not getting paid on time

Question: Name a reason a man might send his wife flowers.
#1 Answer: Anniversary
Worst Answer: Happy divorce

Question: Name a term used in football.
#1 Answer: Touchdown
Worst Answer: Fastbreak

Question: Name a special request people ask for when making a dinner reservation.
#1 Answer: Non-smoking
Worst Answer: A menu

Question: Name someone you wouldn't want to get a phone call from.
#1 Answer: The police
Worst Answer: Your son

Question: Name a classical music composer everyone knows.
#1 Answer: Mozart
Worst Answer: Julio Inglesias

Question: Tell me something specific you should drink a lot of when you're sick.
#1 Answer: Water
Worst Answer: Alcohol

Question: Name something you'd hate to find at the end of your nose.
#1 Answer: Pimple
Worst Answers: Lint

Question: Name the worst kind of shoe to run a marathon in.
#1 Answer: High heels
Worst Answer: Scuba flippers
Louie Anderson's Response: If it's up there... I'll be suprised.

Question: Name something a person wouldn't want living in their house.
#1 Answer: Relatives
Worst Answer: Mold

Question: Name a musician who goes by one name.
#1 Answer: Madonna
Worst Answer: Reba McIntyre
Louie Anderson's Response: Show me the strike.

Question: Name something you'd buy for more than a thousand dollars.
#1 Answer: House
Worst Answer: Pleasure equipment
Louie Anderson's Response: I'm afraid to ask what that means.

Question: Name something you think would be difficult about being a waiter.
#1 Answer: Taking orders
Worst Answer: Falling down

Question: Name something a woman would find in her boyfriend's apartment that would make her think he was cheating.
#1 Answer: Bra
Worst Answer: Used condom

Question: Name something a teenage boy can do for hours at a time.
#1 Answer: Video games
Worst Answer: Masturbate
Louie Anderson's Response: I knew somebody would say it.

Question: Name a unit of currency used in a country other than the US.
#1 Answer: Peso
Worst Answer: Ampere

Question: Name a reason why a woman might not want to kiss her boyfriend.
#1 Answer: Bad breath
Worst Answers: She doesn't love him that much

Question: Name something you do in front of your husband that you probably never did when you were dating.
#1 Answer: Undress
Worst Answer: Make out
Louie Anderson's Response: With somebody else?

Question: Name a complaint you might have about the pizza that was just delivered.
#1 Answer: It's cold
Worst Answers: It went to the wrong address
Louie Anderson's Response: And you just happened to be there.

Question: Name an animal many people are scared of.
#1 Answer: Snake
Worst Answer: Boar
Louie Anderson's Response: It's terrifying.

Question: Name something you need to play Scrabble.
#1 Answer: Letters
Worst Answer: Dice
Louie Anderson's Response: Where did you learn to play Scrabble?

Question: Name the age when a man might start to lose a lot of hair.
#1 Answer: 30
Worst Answer: 14

Question: Name the best month to schedule a wedding.
#1 Answer: June
Worst Answer: Summer

Wednesday, July 5

FABU Fourth, my Friends.

In case you were wondering, this is how you do it:

With the love of your life, drive up to your VBF’s house in beautiful rural area of Indiana. Pile out of the car, hug everyone in sight. Commence chatting, brokering fireworks purchases, watching ZILLIONS of fireflies, igniting fireworks, making caramel and chocolate sauces, watching animated movies, eating “entirely adequate” Mexican food, and kissing/chasing/hugging/taking pictures of babies. Read all kinds of interesting things your VBF has written and contributed to. Talk with her about your favorite memories, fears, and hopes for the next phase of your life. Listen with delight when she tells you how awesome her husband is. Smile constantly for the next 24 hours when you hear the very sage, and completely accurate advice she gave the loveofyourlife about thriving in an Erickson-Dominated environment. Wish for the thousandth time that you lived next door to her and awesome husband and delightful children.

And, these, my friends, are just the bare outlines. I also got to catch up with other dear friends on the phone, sleep well, swim, get some sun, get kissed, and have a little bit of peace.

It rarely gets any better.

Below, see pictures of my littler nephews, Simon who put himself in a cubby in the kitchen and Jude who we tried really hard to pack in a grocery bag to take home!

Sunday, July 2

Quizlet, Version 7


August 2

Pax River, MD

Current Location:
Indianapolis, IN

Eye Color:
Only brown.

Hair Color:
Ferria, Espresso


Right Handed or Left Handed:

Your Heritage:
Portuguese and Swedish

The Shoes You Wore Today:
Flip Flops

Your Weakness:
dark chocolate, ice cream, most foods

Your Fears:
screwing it up, again.

Your Perfect Pizza:
mushrooms, olives, extra cheese

Goal You Would Like To Achieve This Year:
go on vacation ( ditto Mary, Allie.)

Your Most Overused Phrase On an instant messenger:

Thoughts First Waking Up:

Your Best Physical Feature:
porn-star eyelashes

Your Bedtime:
whenever i wanna

Your Most Missed Memory:
goofing off/not working

Pepsi or Coke:

McDonalds or Burger King:

Single or Group Dates:

Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea:
I don't drink fake tea -- me either, Al.

Chocolate or Vanilla:
Both, please

Cappuccino or Coffee:
either as long as it's not fake

Do you Smoke:

Do you Swear:
fuck yeah

Do you Sing:

Do you Shower Daily:

Have you Been in Love:

Do you want to go to College:
did it.

Do you want to get Married:
obviously wanted to at some point. i've done it twice.

Do you belive in yourself:
98% of the time.

Do you get Motion Sickness:

Do you think you are Attractive:

Are you a Health Freak:

Do you get along with your Parents:

Do you like Thunderstorms:

Do you play an Instrument:
no, sadly

In the past month have you Drank Alcohol:

In the past month have you Smoked:

In the past month have you been on Drugs:
just presciptions

In the past month have you gone on a Date:

In the past month have you gone to a Mall:

In the past month have you eaten a box of Oreos:

In the past month have you eaten Sushi:

In the past month have you been on Stage:

In the past month have you been Dumped:

In the past month have you gone Skinny Dipping:

In the past month have you Stolen Anything:

Ever been Drunk:
of course not!!!

Ever been called a Tease:
surprisingly, yes.

Ever been Beaten up:

Ever Shoplifted:

How do you want to Die:
At age 94, after arriving home from a trip to Paris with my girls.

What do you want to be when you Grow Up:
Like I know this. I am pretty sure I need to be a speaker.

What country would you most like to Visit:

In a Boy/Girl..
Favourite Eye Color:
depends on who the eyes belong to

Favourite Hair Color:

Short or Long Hair:

i like tall, but just taller than me is enough

i like big guys

Best Clothing Style:
clean and comfy

Number of Drugs I have taken:

Number of CDs I own:
too many

Number of Piercings:
4 in left ear, 3 in right

Number of Tattoos:

Number of things in my Past I Regret:
two or three

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