Friday, March 31

What the Hell is a Life Path Number?

Apparently, mine is 8.

Your Life Path Number is 8
Your purpose in life is to help others succeed. You are both a natural leader and a natural success. You are also a great judge of character. You have a head for business and finance. You know how to make money. A great visionary, you can see gold where other people see nothing.
In love, you are very generous - with gifts, time, and guidance. You love to inspire people, but it can be frustrating when they don't understand your vision.Great success comes easily for you. But so does great failure, as you are very reckless.You are confident, and sometimes this confidence borders on arrogance.
What Is Your Life Path Number?

Thursday, March 23

Public Service Announcement:

Q. When does daylight saving time take affect in Indiana?

A. On April 2, 2006, Indiana residents will adjust their clocks forward by one hour to move from Eastern Standard Time (EST) to Eastern Daylight Time (EDT).

Please make a note of it.

Friday, March 10


My Beth, my VBF, has decided to be part of the blogging universe, as it were. If you please, as it were, so sayeth the king, here she is! I could NOT be happier, as she is dearer to me than my veryownboobs, and that's saying something. It is she and Steve's children who actually gave me the name Tasty (Aunt Tasty to them). It is she who cajoled me into having an actual sense of humor in the autumn of my 20th year. It is she whom I have loved for over 22 years.

Go say hi!


Wednesday, March 8

Lil' Meme Action

What thought or thoughts pop into your head when you hear the word, "noble"? I realize this will be considered "trite" today, because of the current war, which is never pleasant (war in general, I mean,) and it's associated domestic and foreign bad feelings, but I think of military service. I was reared in a Navy household.

Pine-scented or lemon-scented? I vote for pine-y goodness.

Decaf or caf? What's decaf, again?

Tall or short? You mean my coffee? The taller the better.

Swimming or fishing? Swimmin'!!!!!

Yelling or whispering? Absolutely depends on the location.

Is your car reliable? Reliably grandma-esque. Yes, it's reliable.

Are you? Reliably lighthearted and positive. Yes, I'm pretty reliable.

Ask the next person you see or talk to to describe you in one word. Tell us what that word is. If you don't see or talk to anyone in time, just make something up. Like "jujube." Tina says "honestloyalfunrealisticintelligenthappy." She's such a wonderful friend.

Have you ever told someone you loved them when you KNEW you wouldn't hear it in return? Sure did. That's some brave-ass shit, right there.

Sunday, March 5

Celebrity Psycho

As is standard with surfing, I'm not sure how I got here, but I found a site called, and it included this quote. Which I knew I must share. Immediately.

"Do whatever you have to to never have a heart attack around Tom Cruise, cause he would just use his medical expertise to put some duct tape on your chest and give you some gumdrops. And then he would convince you that the defibrillator and paramedics who later saved your life really didn't save your life. Just like people who improve on meds like Strattera and Ritalin haven't really improved on meds like Strattera and Ritalin."

- The

Friday, March 3

What he really means.

First, read Number3GA, the Friday, March 3 post. Then, come back and read this.

What he really meant is this:

Dearest Allison,

I wanted to say this to you in person on Sunday, but I guess the time is now since you have taken the initiative and I just didn’t step up soon enough. Also, because I didn't show up.

I admire you, Allie. You have been through some rough terrain over the last year or so, and even though you’re sad sometimes, you’ve retained your amazing sense of humor and sparkling personality.

My problem is that I don't know how to handle your strength; therefore, I have let you down. I see that you are still in a bit of a difficult spot and every time I try to talk about your situation, I say the wrong thing. I’m pretty sure it’s because I’m trying to solve problems that are not my own, and therefore annoying the holy owlshit out of you. I am trying to lend you an ear or shoulder, and, because I’m a self-centered nutloaf, all I wind up doing is putting my foot in my mouth. (Additionally, I’m a really big guy with a disproportionate genital appendage.)

Since I am not supportive of you, how I can I in good conscience unload my issues on your lap? You are way too outspoken and knowledgeable about what you need for me to continue in this pattern I’ve been developing for years. It’s easy to unload my issues on my girlfriends when they're weak and needy, but that’s not you. I know you say you are there to listen, but I feel like a total heel, because, honestly, I SO am.

I am a bitter and jaded guy who is spinning his wheels. I fantasize that I am meant for more than the paltry life I’ve created for myself, but I can't seem to get to it. This is evidenced by the fact that I didn’t reach out and enthusiastically grab the most positive, brightest, most attractive woman I’ve met in years: you. You know that you deserve someone who is honest, brilliant, accomplished, growing, and loving. Obviously, you’re far too good for this sullen, tongue-tied, aspiring-yet-unfulfilled writer, who indulges his melancholy and his personal drama and who makes no attempt to grow. Besides that, I can’t show up when I say I will and I have absolutely NO idea how to use an ellipsis.

You know you’ll do the right thing for yourself and your life. I wish I could say the same thing for myself.


Wednesday, March 1

Proof that I'm still a dork.

I am a d20

Take the quiz at

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