Long time, no write.

Did I mention how unbelievably self-absorbed I’ve been lately? I mean, I’ve been so woven around in my own brain that I haven’t even bothered to publish any of my self-obsession to my blog! That’s gotta be some kind of creative neurosis.

I’ve been slugging along (for over an en-tire MONTH) in my semi-unpacked house, waiting for inspiration to strike. Waiting for the motivation to whip it all together and make it shine. Then, I remembered A Few Things I Know. (Oprah has “Things I Know for Sure” or something in her magazine. This is kinda like that. But it’s not.) There are only about a dozen things I’m entirely sure of, and I sure do like to dole out the wisdom to others, and hope they learn from my few little truths. I do frequently forget to apply those truths to myownself. Silly girl.

For example, one Thing I Know is that It’s neither efficient nor effective to make a two-step process out of a one-step process. Let me e’splain. No, there is too much. Let me sum up: I’ve spent about a month at the new house counting the days until Fridays so that I can be free to do whatever I please away from the office, only to spend a good portion of the weekend avoiding “work” some more. Consequently, there are still many unpacked boxes to be observed and lamented. Just unpack them, girl. It doesn’t even hurt! The two-step process in my head is: 1.) Get motivated. 2.) Unpack. See how the motivation portion of the program just isn’t necessary? Unpacking is. Et voila! One-step process.

Another Thing I Know is that It’s a sure sign of insanity when you do the same thing every day and expect a different result. Yeah, that one’s not original, but it’s true as Mondays suck. I keep going to my place of work every day, everything stays the same on the corporate front, I shift and shift and shift my attitude, I realize that DUR, I really DON’T belong at a desk in front of a computer, and yet I keep going every day. Every day I go in, as late as is allowable by law and yet still be on time, congratulating myself for not A.) burning my house to the ground, 4.) calling in sick/fat/disinterested, and Q.) forgetting to take a shower. And every night I desire (but obviously do not intend) to go home and do some unpacking, painting, laundry, walking around the neighborhood, stuff like that, but instead go home and sit on the couch and be thankful that I’m no longer at my desk at work.

There are a few ways to correct this insanity-driven behavior. (I believe I’ll try them all!) Just for starters, I’m going to stop pretending that I’ll feel refreshed and ready to accomplish some things after a little nap. Um, yeah. Hi, I’m Stacey and I cannot be trusted with comfortable, horizontal surfaces. When I nap I’m down for a one-hour minimum duration, and nothing is going to change that. (Except having children and we’re not ready for that sort of rodeo just yet, thanks.)

After admitting Therapy Naps really do not help much, I really should just dive right in and admit that Therapy Eating doesn’t really help much, either. It helps me feel comforted for 10 minute durations, and then consequently adds to the insanity-driven behavior. (“Ugh, I feel very tired – probably because I just consumed 6000 grams of carbohydrates – and I need to have a bit of a nap.”) Can you say “vicious cycle”?

Which brings me to another Thing I Know: Right actions precede right feelings. Therefore, I’m going to go to work before the latest moment allowed by law, remain awake and active, campaign enthusiastically for a new job, accomplish some things at home, put my stamp on my new home, CALL MY FRIENDS, and get a grip. Yeah, get a grip. That always works.

I don’t particularly like admitting these things. I fear that it will make me seem weak. And I am SURE that it admits I’m largely in the same place I’ve been for the last 18 months. I’m still not fit, or suitably-employed, writing or singing regularly. But, today is the day I start doing AT LEAST ONE THING PER DAY to change that.

Right actions first. Do something differently. Do it today.

I’ll check in tomorrow with my report of what I’ve done.

Thanks for reading along.

Love and peace.