Wednesday, May 28
Tuesday, May 27
Excessive Rumination
As it turns out, "excessive rumination" is a symptom of major depressive disorder (MDD). Other symptoms are uncontrollable crying, nausea/vomiting, anxiousness, inappropriate guilt, and other symptoms that masquerade in the mind of the depressed person as character weaknesses. So, not only does one feel like crap if one has MDD, but one also thinks "I know I should be able get over this," while trying very, very hard to get out of bed without crying or throwing up. Good times. Good times.
I have had three major episodes and probably five minor episodes of MDD over the last 15 years. In my case, it's pretty well controlled by talk therapy and medication.
My point, and I do have one, is that there are some funny-ass things about this disorder. Which brings me to excessive rumination. This symptom isn't very cute while you're going through it, but afterward, it's hilarious. You know how you can get a song stuck in your head, and it doesn't go away for HOURS, or maybe DAYS??? That's an example of excessive rumination.
The following is a list of thoughts that I've had, while feeling like serious crap, that just kept running and running running and running running and running through my tired lil' haid. Thank God this doesn't happen often! (My notes in italics.)
- Pia Zadora -wtf?
- 7:48 -A time of day. Are you kidding?
- Who got the love, who got the fresh-e-freshy? Who got the only sweetest thing in the world? -This was SHEER horror at the time. Damn Everlast.
- Pregnancy test -Though, at the time, I had never had sex.
- Bop bop bop -What am I, Barney?
- Tuna fisheries -Tuna. Fisheries.
- Wee willie wonka -Who wouldn't think of this repeatedly?
- Burt Bacharach -Hee!
- Taxpayer's remorse -We all have it; why not ruminate about it?
Please enjoy these ridiculous things with me now that I feel fantastic and am not being repeatedly tormented by Pia Zadora. The bitch.
Monday, May 19
Monday, May 12
The other half of what white people like.
#51 Living by the Water
Truly a lovely dream, here in landlocked Indiana. I probably wouldn't give a rat's ass, but I used to live ON THE BEACH. Like, 50 yards from the Pacific.
#52 Sarah Silverman
Mostly, no. Sometimes v-e-r-y funny, but really not my swirl.
#53 Dogs
Don't even get me started. I'm in-sane over dogs. Don't even know why, exactly, I'd just love to have a huge yard somewhere temperate and 12 dogs.
#54 Kitchen Gadgets
Nah. Those are for the man in our house.
#55 Apologies
When they're warranted, absolutely.
#56 Lawyers
Not overly intrigued by them; however, do find myself wondering if I could make it in law school. Actually, I know I could make it in law school. And, yes, I'm full of myself.
#57 Juno
Huh? Ohhhhhh, Juno the movie. I was thinking maybe the internet service there for a minute. Yes, loved it, but not because it's some Indie thing. I loved it because the writing was great, even though it's unrealistic. It's a STORY, they're supposed to hold you in a state of belief, regardless of reality.
#58 Japan
Sounds lovely; never been. Not at the top of my list. Italy, on the other hand...
#59 Natural Medicine
Gimme the chemicals, baby. I believe in Better Living through Pharmacology.
#60 Toyota Prius
Isn't that what my Left Coast granddad drives? (Yes.)
#61 Bicycles
Cars!
#62 Knowing What’s Best for Poor People
This one makes me sad.
#63 Expensive Sandwiches
GUILTY! My favorite is from Goose The Market right on the corner in our neighborhood!
#64 Recycling
So far, I only recycle paper. I'm a bad left-leaner.
#65 Co-Ed Sports
Once again, have you met me? My idea of sports is watching hot guys play ball.
#66 Divorce
Oh, yes.
#67 Standing Still at Concerts
I'm decidedly non-white on this one.
#68 Michel Gondry
No.idea.
#69 Mos Def
Only know who it is. Sad, sad pop-culture-less girl.
#70 Difficult Breakups
Two divorces? Check.
#71 Being the only white person around
When I was one of a couple white-ish people in my college choir, it was a total kick to be in and around people of a culture I wasn't born in. I would not say I seek this out, however. Oooooh, unless you also count the trips to South and Central America, where I guess I was in the minority, too. Cultures other than mine are interesting. Looks like I'm a white girl on this one.
#72 Study Abroad
Would have LOVED to!
#73 Gentrification
Hmmmm, according to the essay regarding this entry, I qualify in that I live in a neighborhood which is considered "up-and-coming." Where I live used to be a crack house. However, the building started a long time before we moved in (we rent), and now the taxes are at a level (very high) where the people who bought the properties from the people who owned the crack houses are actually moving out of the neighborhood. Kinda crazy. And I just thought it was cool to live close to work.
#74 Oscar Parties
Nah.
#75 Threatening to Move to Canada
No.fricking.way. No offense to Canada or its citizenry, I just love being an American.
#76 Bottles of Water
I do drink them, but the faucet is free. And what a total first-world miracle that I can drink right out of the faucet and stay healthy! And, while I'm on that, the very fact that there is a faucet is pretty damned miraculous.
#77 Musical Comedy
Occasionally. VERY occasionally. Though, I admit a certain fondness for Adam Sandler's SNL bits with the guitar.
#78 Multilingual Children
Someone else's multilingual children, maybe.
#79 Modern Furniture
Comfortable furniture is better.
#80 The Idea of Soccer
HA! That's just funny.
#81 Graduate School
Definitely. Been dreaming of it since I came to Corporate America.
#82 Hating Corporations
Been doing it since I came to Corporate America. My participation in them, actually. Corporations on the whole don't cause me to hate.
#83 Bad Memories of High School
There are about 8.3 million good memories, too.
#84 T-Shirts
T-shirt whore, right here, people. But not the wearing of them, the CREATION of the slogan on them!
#85 The Wire
I know nothing of this show.
#86 Shorts
Hi, no shorts. Ever. Bermudas maybe, but I'm a fat woman over the age of 35, we don't need to flaunt that, really.
#87 Outdoor Performance Clothes
This would require me to have a life involving Outdoor Performance.
#88 Having Gay Friends
Why pick friends based on one characteristic? If you're smart and funny, I probably can't resist you. If you're also real honest about yourself, I definitely can't resist you.
#89 St. Patrick’s Day
Isn't St. P's day for amateurs?
#90 Dinner Parties
Guilty! Always a good opportunity to show off my awesome chef boyfriend, too!
#91 San Francisco
Ehn.
#92 Book Deals
OMG, I WOULD LOVE ONE! GIMME?
#93 Music Piracy
Nah. Unless Lola does it.
#94 Free Healthcare
Ah, hell, I still don't know what I think about this one.
#95 Rugby
Nope.
#96 New Balance Shoes
Own 2 pair.
#97 Scarves
ONLY when it's freaking freezing outside.
#98 The Ivy League
Sure, I still long for Harvard. It was a girlhood dream.
#99 Grammar
Guilty as sin. Guilty as sin. Guilty as sin. Guilty as sin. Guilty as sin. Guilty as sin. Guilty as sin. Guilty as sin. Guilty as sin. Guilty as sin. Guilty as sin. Guilty as sin. Guilty as sin. Guilty as sin. Guilty as sin. Guilty as sin. Guilty as sin. Guilty as sin. Guilty as sin. Guilty as sin. Guilty as sin. Guilty as sin. Guilty as sin. Guilty as sin. Guilty as sin. Guilty as sin. Guilty as sin. Guilty as sin. Guilty as sin. Guilty as sin. Guilty as sin. Guilty as sin. Guilty as sin. Guilty as sin. Guilty as sin. Guilty as sin. Guilty as sin. Guilty as sin. Guilty as sin. Guilty as sin. Guilty as sin. But legal to be so, since I have a degree from Purdue in English, and I work as an editor. Hee!
Stuff White People Like
Not only does this site crack me directly up, it's something that works for many of my favorite women, too. It's "Stuff White People Like." Click here for the the full list of stuff white people like on one page. Today's entry, Grammar, is what propelled me to examine how many of the now 99 items I actually like, as I am (mostly) a white chick.
Here is the list of the first 99 things, and my comments about my personal affinity for each of these items, thus revealing my whiteness or lack thereof, as the case may be, nudge nudge wink wink, say no more. (I bet white people TOTALLY like Monty Python.)
#1 Coffee
I definitely love the coffee. And the CoffeeGoddess. What's not to love. Did I ever tell you how I started loving coffee? It was Mark Bourdeaux. He was my English TA at Purdue, and I adored him. He sat in the student union for his office hours and drank a lot of coffee. Also, he had a schload of earrings and long hair. And wore painters' pants with a squirrel hide stitched to the ass. Need I say more?
#2 Religions their parents don’t belong to
True. I don't belong to one, but I do like them.
#3 Film Festivals
Not so much. First, I refer to them as "movies" not films. And I'm certainly never going to the Cinema. Hi, I'm not European.
#4 Assists
Nah. I'm ruggedly individualistic. (hee!)
#5 Farmer’s Markets
Well, they're OK, but the boyfriend is a whore for the things.
#6 Organic Food
Nope. Gimme fried dough and sugar, please.
#7 Diversity
Yeah, I do love it. I always think of it as "variety" though. It's the spice o' life, dontchaknow. A very smart person I know said that "Diversity training" exists so that we can have an emotionally mature response to people who are different than we are, which is a pretty good idea. Also, growing up as a traveling Navy brat, my brother and I both tend to gravitate to anyone who doesn't look, sound, or seem "like" us.
#8 Barack Obama
Better than the alternative.
#9 Making you feel bad about not going outside
Not this white girl. I will SO lay my ass on the couch on a lovely day.
#10 Wes Anderson Movies
I had to look this name up. Darjeeling Ltd is the only one I've seen. And it didn't change my life.
#11 Asian Girls
This one's for every man I've ever dated or been married to. Yes, they've all been white.
#12 Non-Profit Organizations
Sure! Why not?
#13 Tea
Ehn.
#14 Having Black Friends
I would no sooner select my friends based on their skin color than I would their marital status. Though, being black is "different" from me, so maybe this falls under the diversity/variety umbrella.
#15 Yoga
Haven't tried it.
#16 Gifted Children
Have none. Was one.
#17 Hating their Parents
Puh-leeze. Oh sure, I am still silently rebelling against my mother at the tender age of 38, but I adore her.
#18 Awareness
This entry of stuffwhitepeoplelike.com is just hilarious. Please read.
#19 Traveling
I had no idea this was a white thing! I just thought I liked to go places.
#20 Being an expert on YOUR culture
I'm barely an expert on my own culture. OK, I'm not blind to US historical culture, but absolutely to pop culture. Just a couple weeks ago I was telling Allie what a total square I am (to effectively demonstrate my total obliviousness of current parlance). She said, "You can probably quote Chaucer, though." Because she's a giver like that. (And yes, I can. In Middle English. ARGH!)
#21 Writers Workshops
I'd like to conduct one, but not attend one.
#22 Having Two Last Names
Previously guilty.
#23 Microbreweries
Yum.
#24 Wine
YUM.
#25 David Sedaris
Painfully funny.
#26 Manhattan (now Brooklyn too!)
Don't know yet. But, I have thought of a year-long NYC living experiment, just for the experience.
#27 Marathons
HAVE YOU MET ME?
#28 Not having a TV
Done it. Considering doing it again!
#29 80s Night
Hi, I was in high school in the 80s. Why do I want to relive that?
#30 Wrigley Field
Nah.
#31 Snowboarding
Sounds fun.
#32 Vegan/Vegetarianism
See #6.
#33 Marijuana
No comment.
#34 Architecture
I can pick the Taj Mahal and the Eiffel Tower out of a lineup, does that count?
#35 The Daily Show/Colbert Report
Funny, but not staples.
#36 Breakfast Places
Yum. See again, fried foods.
#37 Renovations
Easy there, hot rod. I'm far too lazy for that.
#38 Arrested Development
Pretty sure I've seen this once.
#39 Netflix
Um, yeah, canceled.
#40 Apple Products
I do love my iPod. A lot.
#41 Indie Music
I'm very into what my brother and boyfriend now call "adult alternative." Thank God it's not "adult contemporary" as the thought of Michael Bolton makes me sad.
#42 Sushi
This is one item I wish I liked. ICK.
#43 Plays
Fun, but not a staple.
#44 Public Radio
A definite staple! I a-dore Cartalk and Prairie Home Companion. Also like Morning/Evening Edition quite a lot. Oh, and Thistle and Shamrock.
#45 Asian Fusion Food
Because the Chef in my life is an expert at this, YES!
#46 The Sunday New York Times
Not yet a habit. Actully, I think I read the books section once, but that's it.
#47 Arts Degrees
Have one, of the "Liberal" variety.
#48 Whole Foods and Grocery Co-ops
See #5.
#49 Vintage
I am an environmentally unconscious American ass who loves new stuff.
#50 Irony
Me? Irony? Certainly not.
I'll do the other half tomorrow!
Tuesday, May 6
Quote that made me laugh today
The definitions of pretty:
"Pretty means pretty. Cute means pretty but short and or hyper active. Beautiful means pretty and tall. Gorgeous means pretty with great hair. Striking means pretty with a big nose. Sexy means pretty and easy. Exotic means... ugly." --Vicki Lewis as Beth on News Radio
By these definitions, I'm both cute (hyperactive, in many instances, except when napping) and gorgeous. Which are you?
Cheers!
