As it turns out, "excessive rumination" is a symptom of major depressive disorder (MDD). Other symptoms are uncontrollable crying, nausea/vomiting, anxiousness, inappropriate guilt, and other symptoms that masquerade in the mind of the depressed person as character weaknesses. So, not only does one feel like crap if one has MDD, but one also thinks "I know I should be able get over this," while trying very, very hard to get out of bed without crying or throwing up. Good times. Good times.
I have had three major episodes and probably five minor episodes of MDD over the last 15 years. In my case, it's pretty well controlled by talk therapy and medication.
My point, and I do have one, is that there are some funny-ass things about this disorder. Which brings me to excessive rumination. This symptom isn't very cute while you're going through it, but afterward, it's hilarious. You know how you can get a song stuck in your head, and it doesn't go away for HOURS, or maybe DAYS??? That's an example of excessive rumination.
The following is a list of thoughts that I've had, while feeling like serious crap, that just kept running and running running and running running and running through my tired lil' haid. Thank God this doesn't happen often! (My notes in italics.)
- Pia Zadora -wtf?
- 7:48 -A time of day. Are you kidding?
- Who got the love, who got the fresh-e-freshy? Who got the only sweetest thing in the world? -This was SHEER horror at the time. Damn Everlast.
- Pregnancy test -Though, at the time, I had never had sex.
- Bop bop bop -What am I, Barney?
- Tuna fisheries -Tuna. Fisheries.
- Wee willie wonka -Who wouldn't think of this repeatedly?
- Burt Bacharach -Hee!
- Taxpayer's remorse -We all have it; why not ruminate about it?