Tuesday, May 27

Excessive Rumination

As it turns out, "excessive rumination" is a symptom of major depressive disorder (MDD). Other symptoms are uncontrollable crying, nausea/vomiting, anxiousness, inappropriate guilt, and other symptoms that masquerade in the mind of the depressed person as character weaknesses. So, not only does one feel like crap if one has MDD, but one also thinks "I know I should be able get over this," while trying very, very hard to get out of bed without crying or throwing up. Good times. Good times.

I have had three major episodes and probably five minor episodes of MDD over the last 15 years. In my case, it's pretty well controlled by talk therapy and medication.

My point, and I do have one, is that there are some funny-ass things about this disorder. Which brings me to excessive rumination. This symptom isn't very cute while you're going through it, but afterward, it's hilarious. You know how you can get a song stuck in your head, and it doesn't go away for HOURS, or maybe DAYS??? That's an example of excessive rumination.

The following is a list of thoughts that I've had, while feeling like serious crap, that just kept running and running running and running running and running through my tired lil' haid. Thank God this doesn't happen often! (My notes in italics.)

  • Pia Zadora -wtf?
  • 7:48 -A time of day. Are you kidding?
  • Who got the love, who got the fresh-e-freshy? Who got the only sweetest thing in the world? -This was SHEER horror at the time. Damn Everlast.
  • Pregnancy test -Though, at the time, I had never had sex.
  • Bop bop bop -What am I, Barney?
  • Tuna fisheries -Tuna. Fisheries.
  • Wee willie wonka -Who wouldn't think of this repeatedly?
  • Burt Bacharach -Hee!
  • Taxpayer's remorse -We all have it; why not ruminate about it?

Please enjoy these ridiculous things with me now that I feel fantastic and am not being repeatedly tormented by Pia Zadora. The bitch.


Beth said...

I had no idea.
At least we can laugh about it now.
My favorite is definitely tuna fisheries. I think I'll being excessively ruminating on that one m'self.

christelpistol said...

OMG, i dont ahve the MDD, but i DO have the repeating words and names.

remember the Blast-Ended Skrewts? or Coelacanth?

it almost makes me want to hate words.

Anonymous said...

I'm glad you are feeling better. I can appreciate what you are saying.
I can't watch Eli Stone anymore cause I can't get freakin' George Michael out of my head.
Personally I think all this "ruminating" (just using such a word is an example of the obsession) is our mind doing what it thinks is its ONLY job. I'm pretty sure our mind is capable of much greater things than "thinking".
Although, I do love the sheer nonsense of it all.
Auntie G

Tasty said...

Frickin' EGO! I am not my thoughts, I am not my thoughts, I am not my thoughts. :-)

Did you ever see Revolver? The Guy Ritchie movie??? AWESOME movie, and addresses this so cleverly.

auntie g said...

Gotta check out that Revolver.

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