Stuff White People Like

Not only does this site crack me directly up, it's something that works for many of my favorite women, too. It's "Stuff White People Like." Click here for the the full list of stuff white people like on one page. Today's entry, Grammar, is what propelled me to examine how many of the now 99 items I actually like, as I am (mostly) a white chick.

Here is the list of the first 99 things, and my comments about my personal affinity for each of these items, thus revealing my whiteness or lack thereof, as the case may be, nudge nudge wink wink, say no more. (I bet white people TOTALLY like Monty Python.)

#1 Coffee
I definitely love the coffee. And the CoffeeGoddess. What's not to love. Did I ever tell you how I started loving coffee? It was Mark Bourdeaux. He was my English TA at Purdue, and I adored him. He sat in the student union for his office hours and drank a lot of coffee. Also, he had a schload of earrings and long hair. And wore painters' pants with a squirrel hide stitched to the ass. Need I say more?

#2 Religions their parents don’t belong to
True. I don't belong to one, but I do like them.

#3 Film Festivals
Not so much. First, I refer to them as "movies" not films. And I'm certainly never going to the Cinema. Hi, I'm not European.

#4 Assists
Nah. I'm ruggedly individualistic. (hee!)

#5 Farmer’s Markets
Well, they're OK, but the boyfriend is a whore for the things.

#6 Organic Food
Nope. Gimme fried dough and sugar, please.

#7 Diversity
Yeah, I do love it. I always think of it as "variety" though. It's the spice o' life, dontchaknow. A very smart person I know said that "Diversity training" exists so that we can have an emotionally mature response to people who are different than we are, which is a pretty good idea. Also, growing up as a traveling Navy brat, my brother and I both tend to gravitate to anyone who doesn't look, sound, or seem "like" us.

#8 Barack Obama
Better than the alternative.

#9 Making you feel bad about not going outside
Not this white girl. I will SO lay my ass on the couch on a lovely day.

#10 Wes Anderson Movies
I had to look this name up. Darjeeling Ltd is the only one I've seen. And it didn't change my life.

#11 Asian Girls
This one's for every man I've ever dated or been married to. Yes, they've all been white.

#12 Non-Profit Organizations
Sure! Why not?

#13 Tea
Ehn.

#14 Having Black Friends
I would no sooner select my friends based on their skin color than I would their marital status. Though, being black is "different" from me, so maybe this falls under the diversity/variety umbrella.

#15 Yoga
Haven't tried it.

#16 Gifted Children
Have none. Was one.

#17 Hating their Parents
Puh-leeze. Oh sure, I am still silently rebelling against my mother at the tender age of 38, but I adore her.

#18 Awareness
This entry of stuffwhitepeoplelike.com is just hilarious. Please read.

#19 Traveling
I had no idea this was a white thing! I just thought I liked to go places.

#20 Being an expert on YOUR culture
I'm barely an expert on my own culture. OK, I'm not blind to US historical culture, but absolutely to pop culture. Just a couple weeks ago I was telling Allie what a total square I am (to effectively demonstrate my total obliviousness of current parlance). She said, "You can probably quote Chaucer, though." Because she's a giver like that. (And yes, I can. In Middle English. ARGH!)

#21 Writers Workshops
I'd like to conduct one, but not attend one.

#22 Having Two Last Names
Previously guilty.

#23 Microbreweries
Yum.

#24 Wine
YUM.

#25 David Sedaris
Painfully funny.

#26 Manhattan (now Brooklyn too!)
Don't know yet. But, I have thought of a year-long NYC living experiment, just for the experience.

#27 Marathons
HAVE YOU MET ME?

#28 Not having a TV
Done it. Considering doing it again!

#29 80s Night
Hi, I was in high school in the 80s. Why do I want to relive that?

#30 Wrigley Field
Nah.

#31 Snowboarding
Sounds fun.

#32 Vegan/Vegetarianism
See #6.

#33 Marijuana
No comment.

#34 Architecture
I can pick the Taj Mahal and the Eiffel Tower out of a lineup, does that count?

#35 The Daily Show/Colbert Report
Funny, but not staples.

#36 Breakfast Places
Yum. See again, fried foods.

#37 Renovations
Easy there, hot rod. I'm far too lazy for that.

#38 Arrested Development
Pretty sure I've seen this once.

#39 Netflix
Um, yeah, canceled.

#40 Apple Products
I do love my iPod. A lot.

#41 Indie Music
I'm very into what my brother and boyfriend now call "adult alternative." Thank God it's not "adult contemporary" as the thought of Michael Bolton makes me sad.

#42 Sushi
This is one item I wish I liked. ICK.

#43 Plays
Fun, but not a staple.

#44 Public Radio
A definite staple! I a-dore Cartalk and Prairie Home Companion. Also like Morning/Evening Edition quite a lot. Oh, and Thistle and Shamrock.

#45 Asian Fusion Food
Because the Chef in my life is an expert at this, YES!

#46 The Sunday New York Times
Not yet a habit. Actully, I think I read the books section once, but that's it.

#47 Arts Degrees
Have one, of the "Liberal" variety.

#48 Whole Foods and Grocery Co-ops
See #5.

#49 Vintage
I am an environmentally unconscious American ass who loves new stuff.

#50 Irony
Me? Irony? Certainly not.

I'll do the other half tomorrow!