Monday, February 21

To Possibilities

Recently, Judd (of the JuddHole) posted a little something about the "list" we all have for everything in our heads. And I quote, "Everybody walks around with their own preferences, needs, and wants concerning just about anything. Depending on what you're looking for, be it a new car, pair of shoes, or Love, you have certain things that you are looking for that you are unwilling to compromise on." Sure, I might not have ended the sentence with a preposition -- but on the other hand, I only got intimate with this concept, the no-compromise one, say, last effing week, and it appears that Judd has had a grip on that for a while now. In any case, my grip on the no-compromise concept arrives a touch too late for Marriage Ver. 1.0, or Marriage Ver. 2.0. Thank God for second, er, third chances! (Sidebar: I know some of you are saying, "Stacey, don't you know never to buy a point-oh version of ANYTHING??? Always wait for the upgrade.")

So, I give you my list of non-negotiables for a partner and some commentary. (Thus working in both my love of the list, and my love of pontification.)

  1. He will be as smart as I am. Because, to quote Sissy LeBlanc, "Don't ever marry anyone who isn't as smart as you are. He'll spend the rest of your life making you pay for it."
  2. He will truly get it. There is unbridled joy in my life. It's splashing out every-damn-where. He needs to see it, know what it is, and participate in it. To be specific, he will be able to look at The Numbers and me while we're under the influence of each other, and just appreciate the giddy laughter. He will be able to sit at the dinner table with (my best friend) Beth's family and me and take joy in the fact that, even after all these years, Beth and I still sort of speak our own language, and it is a great little mystery he's witnessing.
  3. He will have a life of his own. There must be something he has that gives him energy and happiness. As much as he'll be able see my joy, I'd like to stand back appreciate him in his own life, as well. Sometimes, I'd like to be able to enjoy just the sight of him having a great time or accomplishing something stellar in his career. And sometimes, I'd like to hear about the fun afterward. 'Cause being there isn't always necessary, and is many times desireable.
  4. He will be extraordinarily alive. In this case, an example is far more effective than an explanation: if you've read Judd's blog over the last several months, you know he's a superb example of this trait. Somehow, he's hyper-willing to have, experience, and express emotion, be it good, bad, or suck-ass. Evidence of that level of passion in another person on this planet literally makes my chest ache. (Yes, literally.) Alive, even while being a complete assmonkey, is amazingly desireable. (Sidebar: The fact that he's on full-on hot motherfucker in the kilt truly has nothing to do with this.)
  5. There will be no need for me to trim my sails. One of the most difficult and precious things I learned in the last year is that the liklihood of my finding this person to be my partner over a lifetime is real damned small. Yeah. Rough realization. However, the precious part is this: I'd rather be myself and be alone than pare myself down so that I can be partnered. To quote Lloyd Dobler, "I'm looking for a dare-to-be great situation." Anything less will just never work for me. And I make no apologies for that.

All that being said, it would be fun if he was so physically beautiful it made my mouth water. But, since all "pretty" gets you is an interview, I'm good with almost any wrapping on the package.

Here's to the possibility of any of us really and truly knowing our own list of non-negotiable items, and the perseverence to say "no" to "pretty good" so that we can have "amazing" when it's time.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Update:

I forgot to mention that there are other things that will tell me "he's the one," including, but certainly not limited to, the ability to keep the hell up with my family; knows how to fight, share, and make up; understands the phrase "I'm running low on hit points"; and knows that dinner in a restaurant is a time to try new things... and share them!

Also, I stole "my love of the list" directly from Allie.

18 comments:

christ*el #3tx said...

how much does it creep me out that i have had the name "Lloyd Dobler" floating around in my head all day?


and oh, yeah, you will find him. if i can marry a man that says he married me "to see what i will do next", then Mr. Tasty is out there. maybe not this year, or next, but he has to wait until you get good-n-set in your ways.

and then he just has to hang on for the ride.

Im A Foto Nut said...

YOUGOGIRL witchaowndamnself!

I couldn't agree more. So glad you got it.

Champagnelady59 said...

I"m so glad you finally reached the point where YOU have to be happy. go for it, you never know what/who you'll find right around the corner.

M'Ary* said...

Mr. Tasty. *Snort*

I'm snorting the phrase, not pooing the idea that he exists. But you should know that when you find him Imaneed to call him Mr. Tasty.

devilboss said...

You only deserve the best and the best is what you should have. In all things. You are awesome and it's gonna take one hell of a smart guy to be "as smart as you".

*L'ola said...

this list encompasses reasons 3,4,5, & 9 that i adore you. Lloyd Tasty is currently out trying to make himself good enough for you, and while we know that'll be a tough road he's giving it his best shot.

did i ever tell you that just thinking about you makes me smile?

Allie#3ga said...

so you know i've printed this list out right .... it's SO you ... i'madd for me ..

he must be willing.

*willing to try new foods.
*willing to get in the car at 2am and go for a ride cause we want to.
*willing to have a picnic on the floor
*willing to participate - in everything...

~and how fucking cool is judd .... and "I" found him first .... just needed to get that out - i know you understand~

i love you miss girl!

Smashlee said...

You know, when I read your stuff, I just sit and think in my head, "Yeah! Yeah! That's it, what she said!"
Have I said how amazing you are lately?

And I also love the juddhole (that sounds dirty, doesn't it?) and give full credit to Allie for bringing him to us. If I ever thought I'd want another husband, I would definately drool over him. (and his hot kilt)

devilboss said...

You know I have no use for another man when I can't get rid of the one I've got but I might have to make an exception for the Judd. He makes me laugh so hard I piss myself. That probably makes me real attractive to him, don't you think?

Tasty said...

You make me laugh, Devilboss. And, that, right there, is good stuff.

amy said...

at first i was so desperate i just wanted him to breathe regular oxygen. then i met the bartender. now my standards are higher. he needs to have an education higher than 12th grade. bye bye bartender.

christ*el #3tx said...

yeah, i always say, "who knew Prince Charming's first name was Eddie?"


now we just need to find Mr. Lloyd Tasty.



oh dear god that makes me snort.

Madley said...

I don't know what's more cool -- your list or reading all your numbers give you wonderful feedback!

Your list is so great, I'm STEALING IT. Having had NO versions of marriage, and barely ANY versions of boyfriends, I think I'm stealing from the BEST!

And who the hell is the Judd fellow? I'm gonna have to check him out!

devilboss said...

Madly, The Juddhole is possibly one of the funniest blogs ever in the history of the world. He is a Skull Splitter and looks damn sexy in a kilt.

Anonymous said...

Diggin on yer list, babydoll.
Stick to it, never compromise, and happiness is assured of you.

Heh heh, no... it's not.

But we only get to find that out after we're dead, I think.

Til then, enjoy.

Anonymous said...

Sorry, forgot to thank you for TastySexyLinkingAction.
-Judd

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