Once and For All Proof that I'm a Geek

I laughed aloud at this:


"Walking on water and developing software on a specification is easy if both are frozen."

Another Fake Post (for Moving Weekend)

The 40 Questions About Me Meme

Find out more useless facts about me!

1. Have you ever been searched by the cops? Not yet.

2. Do you close your eyes on roller coasters? I scream like a wild dog and hold my hands up!

3. When's the last time you've been sledding? Man, way too long. I think since Angola.

4. Would you rather sleep with someone else, or alone? I love to sleep alone.

5. Do you believe in ghosts? Yes.

6. Do you consider yourself creative? DUR!

7. Do you think O.J. killed his wife? In this country, it only matters what the jury thinks.

8. Jennifer Aniston or Angelina Jolie? Either one is welcome to do my laundry and ironing any time she likes.

9. Do you stay friends with your ex's? Boyfriends? Yes. Husbands? No.

10. Do you know how to play poker? Yes, but I suck at it.

11. Have you ever been awake for 48 hours straight? Yup.

12. What's your favorite commercial? The ones I TiVo through.

13. What are you allergic to? Shellfish and kitties. (I'll let you figure out which one I can't eat and which one I can't breathe near.)

14. If you're driving in the middle of the night, and no one is around do you run red lights? No. I like being alive.

15. Do you have a secret that no one knows but you? No.

16. Boston Red Sox or New York Yankees? This is a baseball question, right?

17. Have you ever been Ice Skating? Ice skating classes for a few years as a kid.

18. How often do you remember your dreams? At least once a week.

19. When was the last time you laughed so hard you cried? Within the last 10 days.

20. Can you name 5 songs by The Beatles? Yes.

21. What's the one thing on your mind now? How much I have left to pack.

22. Do you know who Ghetto-ass barbie is? Yup.

23. Do you always wear your seat belt? Yes.

24. What cell service do you use? Verizon.

25. Do you like Sushi? I wish I did!

26. Have you ever narrowly avoided a fatal accident? Yes.

27. What do you wear to bed? My lovely, dark tan birthday suit.

28. Been caught stealing? Nope.

29. What shoe size do you have? I wear a six, but a seven feels so good I buy an eight.

30. Do you truly hate anyone? I'm very, very close to hate with one person. I might need to adjust that a skosh.

31. Classic Rock or Rap? ROCK N ROLL, bay-bee.

32. If you could sleep with one famous person, who would it be? I already said I don't like sleeping with others. Wait, you mean sex? Um, that Jason guy from the Transporter - is that his name?

33. Favorite Song? Changes weekly.

34. Have you ever sang in front of the mirror? Regularly.

35. What food do you find disgusting? Brains.

36. Do you sing in the shower? Yes.

37. Did you ever play, "I'll show you mine, if you show me yours"? When I was a child? Naw.

38. Have you ever made fun of your friends behind their back? No, and I'll kick your ass if you do.

39. Have you ever stood up for someone you hardly knew? Yes.

40. Have you ever been punched in the face? No way.

The Dreaded Tag!

My Dadness tagged me, here. So, I guess I'd better play! Um, not that I mind -- I'm into these things!

1. One book that changed your life: Just one? OK, A New Kind of Christian, Brian McClaren.

2. One book that you’ve read more than once: The Prince of Tides, Pat Conroy. (PLEASE, do not see the movie. Read the book.)

3. One book that you'd want on a desert island: The Bible. I actually like the RSV.

4. One book that made you laugh: The Sweet Potato Queens’ Book of Love, Jill Conner Browne.

5. One book that made you cry: Velvet Elvis, Rob Bell. I shrieked with glee, hugged the book, laughed, cried, and did a happy dance.

6. One book that you wish had been written: How to Differentiate Between Puritainism and Christianity.

7. One book you wish had never been written: I, too, vote for the Left Behind series.

8. One book you are currently reading: The History of Love: A Novel, Nicole Krauss

9. One book you’ve been meaning to read: A Generous Orthodoxy: Why I Am a Missional, Evangelical, Post/Protestant, Liberal/Conservative, Mystical/Poetic, Biblical, Charismatic/Contemplative, Fundamentalist/Calvinist, Anabaptist/Anglican, Methodist, Catholic, Green, Incarnational, Depressed-yet-Hopeful, Emergent, Unfinished CHRISTIAN, Brian D. McLaren

Thanks, Ralph.

Beware when the great God lets loose a thinker on this planet.

--Ralph Waldo Emerson

Sautéed in Wrong Sauce

RockStar is back on the air. Last season's RockStar INXS was a blast, and RockStar Supernova is gaining points with me, too. This year's band members are Gilby Clark, Tommy Lee, and Jason Newstead. All excellent rockers, to be sure.

Not anyone that I might automatically assume is hilarious or eloquent.

Indeed, I did NOT think I'd ever find Tommy Lee funny. How.ever, the phrase "Sautéed in wrong sauce" just does it for me. After what I thought was a nasty, sexy performance of (of all songs) I Will Survive by Storm Large, that was Tommy's review. "That was just Sautéed in Wrong Sauce!"

You know I'll be adding that to my repertoire.

Not a Real Post

I'm a Ferrari 360 Modena!

You've got it all. Power, passion, precision, and style. You're sensuous, exotic, and temperamental. Sure, you're expensive and high-maintenance, but you're worth it.

"Take the Which Sports Car Are You? quiz.

Giant Buckets of Poo

Some things are meant to be. Divorce is not one of those things. Personally, I can recommend not having one, since I've had TWO. Sometimes, they are oh.so.necessary.

For those of you suffering the pain of this massive crap-cake, know that I adore you and that it is totally surmountable. Also for those of you who are suffering, know that you WILL STOP SUFFERING sooner than you think. The creator is completely able to heal up your heart and send you out to do beautiful things.

Know that you are loved from every corner of the universe and that giant buckets of crap will not be your constant companion.

Fun With Blogthings

You Are 50% Boyish and 50% Girlish

You are pretty evenly split down the middle - a total eunuch. Okay, kidding about the eunuch part. But you do get along with both sexes. You reject traditional gender roles. However, you don't actively fight them. You're just you. You don't try to be what people expect you to be.

How Boyish or Girlish Are You?

New Band

Many people at my work are confused as to the eternal importance of programming. They think it matters. They all play in a band called "Laboring Under Unfortunate Illusions" and this is their logo:

Stolen from Others

The words in this post came from this link is on Dooce's front page. They made me laugh more than anything I personally wrote this morning, so, we'll just paste them here, shall we? Good idea.

THE 27 WORST FAMILY FEUD ANSWERS EVER
compiled by Tom Elia

I've always been fascinated by groups of five people who try to guess what 100 randomly selected people have said for a chance to win $10,000, which they'll split between themselves before splitting it again with the government. Which will leave each of them with about $32.87 for their troubles.

I've also been fascinated by how one of those five people will crack under the pressure and cost everyone else on their team a chance to walk away with $32.87.

As a result, I've polled 100 people to find the best "worst" answers ever given on Family Feud. The top 27 answers are on the board.

Question: Name a former President that most people would say is honest.
#1 Answer: Lincoln
Worst Answers: Nixon

Question: Besides San Francisco, name a city that begins with the word San.
#1 Answer: San Diego
Worst Answer: Seattle

Question: Name a slang term used for important people.
#1 Answer: V.I.P.
Worst Answer: Buddy

Question: Name something packrats have a hard time throwing out.
#1 Answer: Photos
Worst Answer: Corn

Question: Name something that might annoy a gardener.
#1 Answer: Bugs
Worst Answer: Not getting paid on time

Question: Name a reason a man might send his wife flowers.
#1 Answer: Anniversary
Worst Answer: Happy divorce

Question: Name a term used in football.
#1 Answer: Touchdown
Worst Answer: Fastbreak

Question: Name a special request people ask for when making a dinner reservation.
#1 Answer: Non-smoking
Worst Answer: A menu

Question: Name someone you wouldn't want to get a phone call from.
#1 Answer: The police
Worst Answer: Your son

Question: Name a classical music composer everyone knows.
#1 Answer: Mozart
Worst Answer: Julio Inglesias

Question: Tell me something specific you should drink a lot of when you're sick.
#1 Answer: Water
Worst Answer: Alcohol

Question: Name something you'd hate to find at the end of your nose.
#1 Answer: Pimple
Worst Answers: Lint

Question: Name the worst kind of shoe to run a marathon in.
#1 Answer: High heels
Worst Answer: Scuba flippers
Louie Anderson's Response: If it's up there... I'll be suprised.

Question: Name something a person wouldn't want living in their house.
#1 Answer: Relatives
Worst Answer: Mold

Question: Name a musician who goes by one name.
#1 Answer: Madonna
Worst Answer: Reba McIntyre
Louie Anderson's Response: Show me the strike.

Question: Name something you'd buy for more than a thousand dollars.
#1 Answer: House
Worst Answer: Pleasure equipment
Louie Anderson's Response: I'm afraid to ask what that means.

Question: Name something you think would be difficult about being a waiter.
#1 Answer: Taking orders
Worst Answer: Falling down

Question: Name something a woman would find in her boyfriend's apartment that would make her think he was cheating.
#1 Answer: Bra
Worst Answer: Used condom

Question: Name something a teenage boy can do for hours at a time.
#1 Answer: Video games
Worst Answer: Masturbate
Louie Anderson's Response: I knew somebody would say it.

Question: Name a unit of currency used in a country other than the US.
#1 Answer: Peso
Worst Answer: Ampere

Question: Name a reason why a woman might not want to kiss her boyfriend.
#1 Answer: Bad breath
Worst Answers: She doesn't love him that much

Question: Name something you do in front of your husband that you probably never did when you were dating.
#1 Answer: Undress
Worst Answer: Make out
Louie Anderson's Response: With somebody else?

Question: Name a complaint you might have about the pizza that was just delivered.
#1 Answer: It's cold
Worst Answers: It went to the wrong address
Louie Anderson's Response: And you just happened to be there.

Question: Name an animal many people are scared of.
#1 Answer: Snake
Worst Answer: Boar
Louie Anderson's Response: It's terrifying.

Question: Name something you need to play Scrabble.
#1 Answer: Letters
Worst Answer: Dice
Louie Anderson's Response: Where did you learn to play Scrabble?

Question: Name the age when a man might start to lose a lot of hair.
#1 Answer: 30
Worst Answer: 14

Question: Name the best month to schedule a wedding.
#1 Answer: June
Worst Answer: Summer