Tuesday, June 21

Proof of Impending Armageddon

As promised, this one actually IS called "Proof of Impending Armageddon".

I give you the following lyrics:

I don't believe it, it's almost too good to be true
I ain't never seen an ass like that
The way you move it,
you make my slinky go doing, doing, doing!

The pronunciation is not "do-ing" as in "I'm doing the dishes." It's "doing" as in the onomatopoeic "sproinnngggg!!!" And don't even pretend you don't know his slinky is his veryownpersonal penis.

Eminem, with all his talent -- which is considerable in my opinion -- has apparently decided to squander said talent, and has written and performed the lyrics to the above-quoted song. I say unto you, "Whaaaaa??"

Sure did see the video, too. GOOD LORD, have mercy on our utter lack of culture. Amen, and amen. Not only that, but the video has PUPPETS. I'm thoroughly confused and disturbed by all of it. Oh sure, I'm watching Hell's Kitchen each Monday night with bated breath, but you'll not find me purchasing Eminem's CD. I'm certainly not professing to be the pinnacle of refinement; after all, I'm the girl who's favorite word was "motherfucker" for the better part of a year. I'm just saying there are better lyrics than "doing-doing-doing" to be had. By the way, your 11 year old child will be singing this soon. And your 11 year old is a sweet little girl named Katie. Proof of Impending Armageddon.


christ*el #3tx said...

i only crack up because of the STOOOPID things boys say about having a hard on, being turned on, or what they call their boy parts.

like we would ever utter the phrase, "sprung on the cat"!!!

MajorMike said...

I think getthefuckouttahere is a much better favorit word.

NTboi77 said...

oh but, he is really talking about a Slinky ... the metal spiral that does officially go "doing" in a triplet fashion. This is actually quite sophisticated physics that Eminem employs ... barf.

*L'ola said...

that video disturbs me for oh so many reasons. here are a few:

1) slinky visuals
2) the alarming quantity of ho-itutde
3) eminem can do so much more than that. he has an amazing way of turning his feelings into lyrics that almost anyone can relate to and he chooses ASS to rhyme about?
4) puppets...need i say more?

is this a sign i need to finally tell some puppeteer stories? okay, fine.

devilboss said...

I love Em, but am taken aback by his lack of originality. He can do so much better. However I do have a Daniel/Cindy story that this reminds me of.

We were in the store and they had some friends with them. Everyone was early teens. They found this noisemaker thing in the toy department. It made all kinds of different sounds and one of them was do-ing. So for a good hour they followed me around the store, laughing crazily while they made the thing make two particular noises.


christ*el #3tx said...

you gys remember those ZOOB tubes?

it was a 3 foot long cylinder with a slinky stretched inside it and attached at each end my inverted plastic solo cups. you could shake it up and down and it made all sorts of weird spacy noise, or you could shake it from side to side and it would make a different noise?

or was my family the only one with one of these?

devilboss said...

I never had one but I do remember them.

*L'ola said...

i had one and proceeded to annoy the piss out of everyone till my mom finally threw it away and laughed. yeah, i was about 22 at the time.

christ*el #3tx said...

yeah i was about 17 or 18 when we got it. i guess there were SOME good things about having a 9 year gap between siblings.

amy said...

Hi. Real question.... who did the set up on Cafe Press? I was told to get something set up on there but need guidance and help. Can you or one of your Numbers's girls help me out how to get my drawings on there, like on shirts or mugs or mousepads, cards, etc. Thanks much. Amy (inky@iw.net)

NTBoi77 said...

Were any previous questions NOT real?

devilboss said...


Do you know how much the human head weighs?

Anonymous said...

Excellent, love it! Cause of throat cancer

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