A bit of housecleaning.

I chose to hide/delete some comments over the last few weeks, and I wanted to address something that was asked of me. A right good question, in fact. Here it is.

Auntie G, I have carefully considered “Why I snapped” at Todd in the first place over the last few days, and I have a pretty clear picture why I did.

Anytime I do something which does not bring peace, hope, or unity happens when I’m living from fear. Whenever I’m able to do anything kind, generous, or unifying, happens when I’m living from a position of love.

Living from a position of love is the strangest, most responsible, most powerful, most delicious place to be, and yet… I forget. I forget and tip-toe back over to Fear, thinking maybe I won’t have what I need, or maybe my relationships will fail, or maybe I’m not good enough. All lies I tell myself, obviously.

Living in Fear is the opposite of who I actually am as part of the universe. Living in love is who I actually am. Fear itself is the static that seems to get louder and louder when I allow myself to go for days just running on pattern. (Get up, shower, dress, go to work, come home, think little.) Love is what happens, and is thus shared, when I remind myself to hush, be love, and go back to The Source. (I choose to call it God.) When I recognize myself as part of The Source, the source of love, peace, and unity, I don’t snap.

When I hush, listen, and connect with The Source through prayer and meditation, I am reminded of my home: Love. I am reminded who I am: Love. The Source quiets my self-made mind, and allows Love to live itself out in me.

Do I have this down pat? Fuck, no. But it’s awesome to know who I am. And what is possible because of the The Source.